My boyfriend (25M) and I (24F) just amicably ended our 3 year relationship. It was no one’s fault, we were just growing apart and both knew it was time to let go. It was the most genuine and kind breakup I have ever had. We were both so supportive and expressed our love and gratitude for each other. Somehow, it feels worse than a messy breakup ever did. I’m stuck in denial, and I don’t know how long it’s going to last. I keep thinking we made a mistake and that we are both going to realize it and just be fine again. My heart aches but I can’t cry because I seem to be convinced that he’s going to contact me and tell me we were wrong and that we can make it work. Logically, I know it was the right thing to do. But it feels miserable knowing I lost my best friend overnight and I just want that back. How long does this last? When can I move into the other parts of grief so I can at least start accepting my new reality.
TLDR: My relationship ended on good terms and I’m stuck in the denial stage. How long will this last?
5 comments
It takes time to heal. That time frame honestly depends on you and how you over come your grief and move on. It’s okay to feel sad. It’s okay to cry. Even if you did end it well it’s okay to be sad over it. Maybe it takes a year or less. Just be patient with yourself. <3
There is no limit to time
The 5 stages of grief we all know so well was created for the person dying so don’t look for that for answers (yes I’m aware no one is dead)
Grief continues until it just doesn’t have a hold on you, best thing you can do is focus on yourself, your work and hang out with friends often!
The stages of grief don’t really work like this. You don’t move on from them. Sometimes you go back to a stage, sometimes you skip one and they come back later (or not).
Just try to get trough the days one by one, try to get out of the house for a walk, take a nice long shower. Anything to take care of yourself.
I’m really sorry that you are going trough this. It fucking sucks and i know the feeling.
Slowly, the painfull moments will be further apart.
This ofcourse takes different times for different people but with me the denial phase took about a 3 months on and off. The worst part was the first 3 weeks.
The stages of grief are not linear, you can feel one (or all) of them over and over. If you want to help yourself during this time I recommend doing things that are good for you; working out, meeting friends, taking up a hobby and enjoyable past times. Occuppy the space in your mind with healthy things and while it will take time to not feel so sad (or whatever the emotion is) it will eventually feel like you are sad for less of the time.
You will go back and forth for as long as it takes, but if you do No Contact, I’d say the “sting” lessens between 30-60 days. You’ll still miss them but in a dull, used to it kind of way.