I know people like to talk about separating yourself by “family” in the sense of the umbrella term, but I perceive it’s mostly about parents and siblings. There seems to be very little or no mention of being estranged and/or traumatized by abusive grandparents, since society tends to see them as lovable and fun to be around. I’d love to hear others’ stories
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Honestly it was pretty easy, because we moved across the country to get away from her. Then after I became an adult, I joined the military and left the country completely. I didn’t have to see her again until she was dying of cancer, and I was polite and impersonal. I don’t care about who gets what in the will. There’s no amount of money worth toxicity.
Grew up in a very typical Asian household, here’s my experience
My grandmother on my dad’s side was amazing, she made us cake and candy and gave us money, I loved her so much
My grandmother on my mom’s side was abusive, she would hit us, scream at us, call us failures, throw things, break our things, she was awful…I dropped her from my life when I went to college, she called me and told me she she hoped I died for not going into the medical field, that’s when I dropped her.
I simply decided not to actively include them I. Ym life. Nothing but short comments when we found ourselves in shared company. Didn’t answer calls or reach out. No one really noticed but I felt dramatically better about my decision. Didn’t attend the funeral and when asked it was easy to just say I couldn’t make it and make condolences to the ones who were close to them. Like someone else’s grandparents I don’t even know.
They kind of removed themselves from my life. They’d actually forget to invite me to events or call me with scheduling changes and then I moved. Shit’s easier when they are dead or can’t remember your name.
An argument happened (they were very much in the wrong) and we only ever spoke once again. They passed away from cancer and it’s one of the biggest regrets of my life.
My estrangement was not based on being abused by them, they just did one thing wrong and we never found our way back. It’s been a weird thing to work through and you’re right not many people talk about that kind of relationship decaying. When they passed away I had a numb reaction to it but I found myself quite upset thinking about it later on because it made me realise the reality that you can leave this earth with lots of unfinished things and it’s hard to avoid that feeling of stones unturned