I’m not a fan of the usual small talk(what do you do/where you’re from etc) because it usually takes a couple of meetings/convos to know someone well.
What kinda questions can I ask/what should I do to build better friendships/relationships when I first meet someone.
How do I get them to be my friend & remember me?
I’ve noticed being vulnerable is usually a good way to get deeper. If I share something personal, the other party also feels comfortable confiding in me.
3 comments
Would depend on what you would like to actively talk about too. For example, I love reading so when there’s someone I want to interact more with (which rarely happens lol) I ask them whether they read. If they do, then the conversation moves on its own. There again, instead of asking the usual which is your favourite book or author question (which pls don’t ask readers, thats too vague and overused) I would ask what genre do they usually prefer and which book they are currently reading. If the genre is something I indulge in too, then I mention some of my favourite books and ask them if they know, or have any other reccommendations etc. If its not something I’m familiar with, I ask them about it so they explain. When you find passionate people, its womderful to hear them talk about these kind of things (their eyes literally sparkle, its amazing). You can use this kind of talk with any other topics than books, like movies, your activities etc. The thing is to not ask typical questions. Sometimes getting straightforward into a specifc question is nice too. Atleast I know I would be curious to talk more if that happens. Can’t say for everyone. Either way, just remember to respect their boundaries too and not ask anything too personally.
The “usual small talk” is only small talk if you keep it small, and I’d argue it’s necessary to build rapport. Ask followup questions if you wanna dig deeper.
You can try the [36 questions](https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/09/style/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.amp.html)