DISCLAIMER: English is not my mother tongue, so forgive me for the English
I (M22) was in a not-so-serious relationship with this girl (F20) that I met through Tinder. We’ve been talking 24/7 since then for the next 2 months. Within this time I found out alot of negative stuff about her and her previous relationship (which I might add was just freshly broken up, earlier this year). I was aware of this, but I still tried it because of the fact that I was optimistic about her being serious on fixing her negative attributes. I’m not there to fix her but be a companion along the journey. I think it’s also important to mention that this was all online, I can travel to her but it’s gonna take some time to get to her.
The relationship itself, was just slow and steady. We’ve already established that we were talking enough to consider each other exclusive. But, just a few days ago, she entertained another guy (around my area) and the mad lad actually made the trip to her, within the few hours of talking to her. She didn’t know what to do, but she made stuff up to try and make an excuse to meet the guy (stuff like intentionally making small petty fights, so that she would have an excuse since we wouldn’t talk).
Then we were having a conversation about what was happening when she suddenly was gone like the wind. This was indication to me that she ghosted me. To which, I initially didn’t think too much about it since there was not too much development between us.
So I left it for a day then she messaged back and apparently she had gone to an island near her area with the guy and told me that, we shouldn’t continue what we have cause she wanted to give the guy a shot cause he made her feel stuff that she hadn’t felt in a long time. So I made peace with that and got some support to talk to in order to process what happened.
Another day goes by and she comes back telling me that she made a mistake, she was too impulsive and she realized how important I was the moment she pushed me away. And from this I already know how this sounds like. She told me that she was “Over her ex but not the stuff that he did to her” (It is also important to note that there were no sexual things involved here).
So I’m here typing this down, reading it and seeing just how bad it sounds on paper. But I want to know the story of other people. People who gave the second chance so I can have perspective on how I should handle this.
Right now, I’m just taking a step back from this and thinking if it even worth it because I know for a fact that I don’t deserve to be treated this way. But, alas, the feelings that I had the past 2 mos keeps clinging to my subconscious and telling me to see where it goes when in reality I should just let it go.
BTW, I told her that we should take a recess. I said maybe she’s just feeling this way since it’s still so fresh. And I told her that she should take more time to herself and ask her if she really wants to make amends.
Meanwhile, I’m stuck and on the fence about this. Anyone have any advice for this? Thanks!