Yes I know that’s super weird to not have sex with my husband for over the past year. That’s not what I’m asking about, but I feel like people will want an explanation, so the reason for that is because he is narcissistic and calls me horrible names, for example he feels free to call me a cunt multiple times a day, then blames it on me. I finally stood up for myself and told him I wouldn’t have sex with him until he actually stopped with the name calling and intimately apologized (not just saying the word sorry with no actions behind it and not even a hug when the word sorry would be said) that apology never happened and since then things have got extremely worse between us. We have only stayed together because of financial reasons and we have a kid.
Now for my question when we first stopped having sex I would still be horny all the time and it took a lot of will power to keep my word/boundary and not have sex. I would play with myself, use toys, then wanted another person involved so bad I made an onlyfans for a while. But for the past few months nothing sexual enters my mind and playing with myself just sounds boring. I have thought maybe I am demisexual so maybe that could have something to do with it, but I would think all sexuality’s like to masturbate.
Do you think it’s just the crappy situation I am in that is messing with my sex drive?? Will it go back to normal ever??
4 comments
I think you need the help of a therapist. That’s not a marriage, that’s an abusive relationship that you’re subjecting your child to. Rather than worrying about your sex drive you should channel all your energy into gathering up the means to get you and your child the hell out of there!
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I am pretty confident that you libido is tied to your marriage. You are living with a man who has put no effort into actually being your husband, and that can have an impact on your self esteem and sexuality. I’d recommend therapy as well, even if you’re already seeing someone. Either a sex therapist or maybe seeing your therapist more often.
I have had low libido for many years and finally got enough courage to speak to my doctor. He put me on Addyi for hypoactive sexual desire disorder, and it’s done wonders. It is expensive and most often not covered by insurance ($99/month with an online coupon), but it’s something my husband and I have budgeted for.
I wish you luck. You seem like a good person who is standing up for herself, and you don’t deserve to continue feeling miserable. You’re worth more than that.
Sexuality is greatly tied to a sense of freedom, so yes, I believe it’s likely because of your situation.