Ok so basically I (14m) got myself into a situation where I’m a Text therapist to this girl (14-15f) and today she said something like “yeah sure everything is fine” after I asked her how she was doing. Then this text conversation.
L is me
P is her
L: p what’s wrong
P: I have a eating disorder L no matter how hard I try to pretend it’s not there it’s there to remind me that Im never going to be able to eat without throwing up and feeling guilty about eating
L: P I can’t give you advice because personally I’m not mature enough to try to counsel someone, I think you should tell your parents or at least a trusted adult to try to get it sorted out, I don’t want you to have an eating disorder but I can’t help you because I’m still a child too and don’t know the ins and outs of this.
P: They know already it’s no help they can’t do anything about it it’s okay I’ll get through it like I always do
I haven’t responded to her yet because I have no idea what to say, and tbh deep down some thoughts have crept into my mind saying things like “I don’t care” or thinking she’s just an “attention seeker” I know that she probably does have issues because she vapes and drinks (I don’t) and has texted drunk talking abt how depressed she was.
I just have no idea what to do, I want to help but honestly I’m just tired.
3 comments
My man there are 2 ways I can think of, 1: be there for her and continue to be the support, since the actions she took leads me to believe she doesn’t have anyone looking out for her. 2: have a serious talk about how she needs to get her shit together or everything is going downhill from there. 3rd and probably not optimal talk about how you also have your own shit to take care of and that sometimes u don’t got the energy to take care of both life’s or not enough time. Ik how that feels and I’m also 14, had a friend suicidal asf and tbh everything he told me was quite sad and even tho I tried to be there for him and stuff sometimes I just didn’t have the energy you know.
Hope this helped u out
You can help people and you should be there for your friends. But dont neglegt yourself in the process. From my own experience if you unload all your problems on friends it will ruin your relation with them. Friends in general, but especially in your age arent trained professionels. You have your own shit to figure out.
Sit her down, talk … find out where she wants to go with this, and then help her get help. Dont be the only help. It will neither heal her, nor help you in the process.
Support here on the way of talking to parents or maybe a therapist. These people can work wonders. Maybe set an appointment with her, offer her to accompany her through the start.
People with mental health struggle are pretty similar to beeing physicaly sick. They often know the right way, but are simply unable to move at all. Try to limit the times where she has to do something alone until she finds someone she can work through this with. Help her start, but dont try to shoulder it alone. And find someone to vent to aswell.
Its not your job to safe her, but you can help her safe herself and that is worth the struggle.
But please dont say you dont care, even if you do not, dont say it. This breaks people.
Im 23 years old, i was in a bad place not to long ago aswell. A friend believed in me. Helped me see a therapist. With out this friend i probably wouldnt be here anymore. This is a debt that cant be repaid, but it is the best feeling in the world to have people like this in your live. You can be someone like this too.
Good luck.
either make her your girlfriend or stop texting her