I sincerely don’t understand how I ended up with no social circle at all

3 comments

1. Well define what try hard means. Because if you are legitimately going out and meeting new people and can’t establish any friendships, it sounds like you are doing some part wrong but you refuse to change anything up. Most people who have the problem of not having many friends simply don’t put themselves in the position to be making friends though

2. Welcome to the club mi amigo.

   A couple years back there was a co-worker just a couple years older than me who was dropping serious hints of interest in hanging out. She was also expressing a similar sentiment to this post.

   It was my first bill-paying job, so I had not yet realized that this was my forever-life and friends wouldn’t just fall out of the sky. I thought she seemed too desperate but mannnn, now I understand her more and more every day.

   She was also hella cute and I thought she was physically out of my league. I highly regret unintentionally rejecting her.

3. Much to my chagrin (because it’s exhausting for me to do so), afaict the key is to be really cheerfully aggressive about inviting people to do stuff, even people you just met and don’t really know very well.

   I’m slowly working on my ability to do this, but it’s really draining.

   Maybe start with your 3 acquaintances?
   And then go to some meetups to expose yourself to people, and invite some to hang out, and keep doing it as much as it sucks (but pace yourself so you can recover enough to not just give up)

   And sometimes some people just aren’t great matches, which is why pursuing this with more than just whoever has fallen into your lap is important, IME.