I (27M) have never had this happen. It’s more of a rant than asking for advice, but I have never had a date in my whole life create a fake SOS emergency then proceed to ghost me afterwords. What hurts more about the fake SOS call was her friend got her to leave by pretending to be abused by the friend’s “BF” and as a guy that has been in an abusive relationship like that. It just stings more she used something as personal as that.
She was super flirty and direct with me and even hinted at ending the date at her place for the night during dinner. She was only on her phone once and right after she opens it up to reply to one of her friends (she asked me for permission and I didnt think anything of it) about 2 minutes later the same friend calls her and is panicking about the SOS.
11 comments
Take it for what it is, they weren’t interested and wanted a way to leave without risk to themselves. Don’t take it too personally and move on. If you run into them act like it didn’t happen and let them be unless they approach you.
As messed up as it was/is, you are clearly better off! If someone uses abuse as a way out instead of just communicating they changed their mind, it just shows me that they don’t know how to communicate, that I’d be wasting my time, and that clearly I wouldn’t feel safe/comfortable in sharing about abuse with them.
Take the L and move on. Nothing u can do about it Ik it sucks tho bro we’ve all been there.
How do you know it was fake? If she was as flirty as you say and wanted to take things back to her place, she absolutely would not of dipped on you unless it was a legit emergency. Did you try contacting her after to see if everything was ok?
Maybe she died?
I know you’re “not asking for advice” but I’m gonna help you out anyway. It sounds like she was interested at the start but that doesn’t mean she has to stay interested.
There are a few possibilities here man.
1. You got too excited at the prospect of going home with her and she could feel the neediness, and/or you said something else wrong in that time to make her second guess her feelings.
2. She genuinely had an emergency and then you were needy or accusatory over the text messages so she second guessed her feelings.
3. She genuinely had an emergency but then met someone else.
4. She got back with her ex.
5. She moved to Canada.
The point is you’ll never really know, it could be 100 reasons. That’s why they call it a numbers game.
When you have trauma, and somebody makes you relive that traumatic experience over something trivial, fuck them right out of the window.
It’s interesting how not many ppl have responded to the fake abuse thing. That’s the part that sticks out to me. Wow.
As for the rest of it, you literally cannot be out here taking offense to some of the crap these assholes do on dates. Not trying to invalidate your feelings, but you truly have to have a short memory with some of this bs.
She could have just said she wasn’t interested. But instead she was petty, dishonest and immature. *And outrageously disrespectful to men and women who HAVE been abused.* Noted and good riddance. Next.
You may not see it this way, but I think you are better off in the long run without her. If this is the extent of deception she goes through to get out of a date, then I don’t know what she would do when things get serious.
Is it not a turn off that she had to go to that extreme?
Damn that’s crazy