So I’ve been out of the game a bit – is it weird to clarify if someone wants kids if it doesn’t say in their dating profile? My best friend is saying that lots of folks aren’t sure and it depends on the relationship.

6 comments

  1. Depends on what you’re looking for – I always ask if it’s someone I like enough to actually date.

    But just a casual fling with no longevity, not much a point in my opinion.

  2. I had a little trick to ask that in entertaining way.

    «Imagine that there’s a cage with animals in front of you. How many kittens are sitting inside?»

    Then they said their number, I would say: «This is the amount of kids you want to have».

    And then we would discuss, if we really want kids or not.

  3. I think it’s wise to discuss this early on. Many people are choosing child free and for many others it’s a dealbreaker. Best to get it out of the way sooner rather than later.

  4. Assuming this is with the intent for a long term relationship, I don’t think it should be weird since it can be an important deal breaker, but it’s important to take into account what age we are talking about here since someone in their 20’s is more likely to have doubts than someone in their 30’s(+), understandably so.
    Reasons for doubts can be plausible, since it’s a big responsibility and it’s fair both sides require a certain degree of trust and stability before they decide to go for it.

    It may also help to pay attention to the reasons they present. The older they are, the less vague those reasons should be. If they simply say “it depends on the relationship”, you can ask something like “I see, do you have an idea what things you’d need to know before making that call?” and once again see if they know what they looking for or simply never put any thought into it.

    It’s an interesting question and I wish I could have a more conclusive answer. Nonetheless I’m sure this can at least help you have a better understanding of the other person and decide how much time you willing to invest to find out.

  5. You could just ask them about what their future life plans and aspirations are because that way it’s a big open ended question and if kids and family life is part of their goals they will share that

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