I asked my significant other the other day why he always seems reluctant to use a vibrator on me during sex and he said “it’s a cheat code”. He knows, like most women I can’t get off from just P in V, I told him for years now. It feels frustrating and archaic to me to not want to use it when I’m willing to use/do whatever so he gets off. Why do some men still feel like this?
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He is jealous of a toy. There is no reason to be jealous of a toy. If he wants to improve/change up what he’s doing, you should be able to provide guidance, but there is no reason to hold a grudge against a toy at all.
Insecurities mostly..
I would personally be very curious to use toys on my partner and see her reactions… Sex doesn’t revolve around a dick, and there’s nothing he can do to change that. He should learn to accept it instead of fighting it, and be open to new kinds of pleasure.
So yeah, I hope he’ll be able to fight his insecurities and open up to a more diverse and interesting sex life
Male here. I know why but I think it is dumb (have toys and use them all the time with my partner), we have been raised to be “strong” men and if we can not please a woman on our own we are somehow weaker. It’s all bullshit, and for me I am more secure because of toys. I know what and how my woman likes to get off. Depending on our season, she can orgasm 10+ times. No other man will do that for her. Sure, someone might but it will not be easy to find.
Because they feel threatened and insecure. Period. Your man feels insecure in his manhood, and ability to please you is going to be damaged if he uses a ‘toy’ during sex. He’s dead wrong about it, and he needs to get over it. A real man will do everything in his power to satisfy his partner sexually. He will practice, learn new techniques, ask questions of his partner, and go that extra mile. Anything other than that is them being lazy, selfish, and insecure.
Well babe, I’m trying to tell you that you might need a cheat code cause your gameplay ain’t making me cum 😉😝
Well, he’s not lying. Lol He simply wants to be the one to make you cum. It’s a little bit of insecurity I guess. Because you can use a vibrator any time with or without him. That’s why he’s felling insecure about it. It gives him the idea that he may inadequate in pleasuring you. I know you don’t see it that way, but some men feel like that. Not all, but definitely some.
He’s insecure only his parts are acceptable.
Bruh that’s not a cheat code that’s his player 2 and his missing out
Hes an idiot. Nothing more exciting than watching your women with toy
If he’s not willing to put in the effort to win the game, then yeah, a cheat code might be the best and most pleasurable way to get to the finish line.
If he’s more focused on his own theoretical “usefulness” during sex than he is on your actual pleasure, he doesn’t sound like a great sexual partner. Sex is about mutual pleasure, and there’s absolutely no reason to be resentful of a tool that can help you give your partner more pleasure.
>Why do some men still feel like this?
Ego. Insecurity.
Not sure… personally I love using toys during play with my wife. I think it’s so hot to see her get off whether or not it’s me making it happen doesn’t matter. Can be me, a toy, or someone else. As long as she’s having fun, I’m enjoying it!
He needs to grow up.
If a video game left you after failing enough times everyone would use cheat codes.
My partner and I use toys all the time! They are just extra friends to help, they don’t make it less intimate or anything. He’s still the one making me cum because he’s the one controlling and using the vibrator. Instead of his fingers it’s a cute little heart toy!
I’m very lucky my partner isn’t insecure by toys. It makes our sex life much more positive.
>Why do some men still feel like this?
Aside from reasons brought up elsewhere on this post, some people have a hard time with the reality that toys may be able to help their partner have orgasms that are like a 9/10, but all they can manage is maybe a 6 or 7 using their own body. Think of it as an insecurity that is adjacent to getting outperformed by the third wheel in a threesome.
I would ask him why he feels this way.
And, not some stupid “cheat code” comment. An actual adult thoughtful response that helps discuss the situation.
Unfortunately, more than likely it is ego.
Does he help you achieve orgasm through any other means? Oral, fingers, etc?
People need to understand that sex toys are not the competition. They are your teammates.
Yes, a person should always be able to state that a certain activity makes them uncomfortable or they are not into it. But, the underlying “why” is a big part of it. And, can indeed invalidate the person’s reasoning.
Because for some fucked up reason many men treat sex as a competition and there’s pride in making a girl come without any aid. I guess preferably just using your dick. While some men are reasonable enough to focus on the girls pleasure rather than ego others just can’t not see sex as competition. There’s no other way “cheat code” makes sense. If you can cheat at sex you view it as something where you achieve a goal, not pleasure between partners.
Tell him that it’s the Spread Shot from Contra. Sure you can. Get the job done with just the base gun, but why the hell wouldn’t you use the spread shot if you have it a available?
Just don’t date men like this period. It is archaic and it’s exhausting to deal with, there’s zero excuses. I don’t care what society tells you, I don’t care what your abusive daddy told you about pleasuring women, the bottom line is a majority of you just can’t make a woman cum whether that’s through fault of your own or her inability to cum unless under perfect conditions. They don’t like that it’s easy for us to make them cum and then they actually have to put in work.
Don’t fuck guys that don’t care about your pleasure or make your orgasm about their ego.
It’s not a cheat code. It’s playing on normal mode. Most of the time, you want to play the game on normal or easy mode. Especially after a long day, you need the easy mode so you can get to the parts you enjoy the most with the least effort. If you try playing on hard mode, either you or your player two have to be able to complete the mission on that level. If you’re not, then be ready to grind to git gud. Playing on hard mode can be a lot of fun and extremely satisfying, but he needs to stop knocking playing on normal mode and make sure his partner is having a good time.
It’s a tool, not a cheat code. When I am building something and use a hammer to pound in the nails instead of pounding them in with my bare hands. I still get the credit for the final product, not the hammer.
If he’s reluctant to use a vibrator, and you need one to cum, then I hope he’s got great finger and tongue skill that he uses with you on the regular. Otherwise, he’s gotta work on getting over his ego and insecurity.
Can he not make you orgasm? If not, he probably feels threatened by it
Archaic is an apt descriptor, and no one should be fucking anyone with archaic views.
If vibrators are cheat codes for women then what is porn for men? Riddle me that my guy.
Ummm, what is wrong with it even if it is a cheat code. That be like me protesting because she wanted to bring in her girlfriend to help give me head. “Sorry, hard pass as that’s cheating on a blowjob.”
Fuck that! I’d be up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A and Start every day of the week if it got her off with a better orgasm.
If he won’t use it then you use it, don’t let him control how you get off in bed 🙂
I never understand why men get so angry when we decide to use toys. I think it damages their ego. When we use toys, its just to increase the pleasure we experience, it has nothing to do with bringing them down and their sexual capabilities. Your vibrator definitely isnt cheating.
Evolution didn’t do everything perfectly -and that’s why we have brains to invent cheat codes
well then let him know he’s continuously losing the game because he fails to use all the arsenal available to him
…he kind of told you why. Making you orgasm is a game for him, and winning points at that game is more important than your enjoyment.
Probably jealous that it works. It’s not a cheat code it’s a tag team partner that can come in and help you beat that monkey up. Nothing wrong with it
Guys are constantly told how trash they are in
bed, depending on the group they hang out with we may have different ideas as to what is expected of men. It’s not as easy as saying it’s just insecurities and jealousy. It’s those things plus the societal pressures and norms placed upon us. Worrying about being laughed at behind our back, or what is said when women talk to each other.
Hell I’ve had women argue against using toys in bed too saying “that just feels like masturbation” or “tell me you can’t make a woman cum with out telling me”
Too many people think their own world view is all there is, that if it works for them then everyone else is the same way.
Humanity and life is messy, we never really know how the other feels, we just have to learn to trust and find love where we can.
Keep communication open, talk to him, maybe reframe the want by talking about how hot it is
When your using a toy, or when he does tell him how much harder you orgasm with him than just the toy alone.
It’s a weird dance, but the more you communicate with your partner the better it gets