So the date was …interesting. Every date I ask their hobbies, standards and what they want
She gave a list of things she won’t tolerate and one of them is a man who lived with his parents.
But she explained that she herself lives with her mom…I called her out on it and she said “well it’s different because I’m a woman. IA woman can live with her parents to save money and it’s a smart move financially & things are hard out here.I’m independent and can do what’s best for me based on my financial status…but if a man doesn’t have his own place then it shows he’s far behind in life & needs to get his act together”
I wasn’t upset at her assumptions but just confused on the double standard
I don’t think anyone living with their folks (by choice) is a bad thing. My friend is a millionaire and lived with her parents…I dated a woman who’s family culture was that you live with your parents til you’re married
I won’t see her again obviously but is this double standard nonsensical ?
34 comments
Absolutely guaranteed if she gets in an LTR she’s gonna try to move in with the dude. I’ve dated people like this.
She’s giving you the excuse to forget her, so forget her lmao
Take the hint
Yes. It’s nonsensical.
Sometimes you wonder why someone is single, sometimes they tell you exactly why they’re single while waving more red flags than China in the fifties.
It is nonsensical but society is filled with double standards
She’s not looking for a partner, she’s looking for a support system.
Im 32 living with my single father who has health problems and a recent invasive surgery. I can easily afford to have my own place with my career, but I choose to help him. By her definition I’d essentially be on the level of trash.
Yes it’s ridiculous and it’s sexist. I never hold a man to a standard that I don’t also hold for myself.
Ya her double standard is nonsensical, and hypocritical. As if she wouldn’t date a man that had a situation that resembled her own.
Multi generational living situations are becoming more and more prevalent especially in expensive areas. Ppl can’t afford shit anymore. Seems logical to stay with parents until it’s financially feasible to move out. “Eastern” society has it figured out already lol.
Don’t bother with a second date
Double standards are a sign of shitty values. Nope out of that.
Life is full of double standards. In reality many if not most women want a man that has more money than them, and is better off than them.
If she was into you, she wouldn’t have cared. She just wasn’t attracted to you and this is how she expressed it.
“behind in life”
Man… people kill themselves for feeling this way. I’ve suffered from depression for decades because of this very feeling.
It’s been said that “a woman simply is. A man must become.” And “men are loved only on the condition that they provide something.” To be judged and rejected and excluded from love by someone who has never and will never be expected, be depended upon or to live up to standards the way men are creates a feeling of unfairness on a level that defies articulation.
>She gave a list of things she won’t tolerate
This is where you should have called the date short and walked out.
It’s because men are expected to be successful in every way and be financially stable but it’s not that easy. People like this usually don’t see men as human so don’t date her
Whilst I personally would never date someone who lived with their parents …. I also do not live with my parents and never would again. Because I’m not a hypocrite. Ditch her.
Dump her ass bro she ain’t worth wasting your energy over
I think she is that person who speaks about feminism and equality but has no clue about it.
Double standards can fuck off.
Also wtf. “A woman can live with her parents for X reasons” she can fuck off totally. I would have just straight up walked out at that point.
What she actually wants is money and a nice house.
Another double standard. Lots and lots of men and women alike are living with their parents right now, either by choice or not. It’s not that big of a deal in my opinion. My boyfriend and I both live with our parents right now due to the current economy
Eh, depends, gotta go against everyone here, but very often it does make sense, at least where I am from.
And I think maybe she was thinking from that side – that guys that stay and live with their parents usually have their mom cook and clean for them, and she doesn’t want to deal with having to fill that role. The same is often not true for women, as they are usually taught those things by their moms. Gender roles suck but they are still a thing in many places.
Women can get away with being hypocritical like this because if you won’t date her, the next guy will. She doesn’t care because men are a dime a dozen. Unfortunate reality.
I’m an attorney and I live with my parents. They both got very sick just before the pandemic and I moved back to the state to assist because my siblings wouldn’t. Then things went crazy including the housing market. And here we are. It’s weird. But we get along well. I like having a bunch of pets around. And I get to save / invest (instead of paying some landlord’s mortgage) while planning my own starter home purchase.
Frankly I ignore dating app notifications because I don’t want to deal with what OP described.
Basically what she is saying is she wants to find a man who is better off so she can move out of her moms place and into his house. She seems like she would expect him to pay for everything too since she is “saving money” by living with her mom. I assume she pays little to no rent.
I’m sure she’s also a “hustler.”
I’m 26 and haven’t had the luxury of parents to live with for almost 10 years.
Wish I could. I’d be saving a lot more money.
Yes, it’s a double standard, and she’s weird. Avoid.
Frankly its unrealistic of the times we live in. Most of my friends live with parents, and we’re all in our thirties. The economy sucks and prices are through the roof. I bought a house with my dad a couple years ago after we moved out of a rental. It was the best deal. We split the cost on everything though some months he’s shouldered the mortgage himself. I’m also rebuilding a career at 34 after losing my job when Covid started. In a year and a half I’ve worked my way up in a new company from PT receptionist to FT receptionist to marketing assistant with an office, but that’s slow going! And frankly, my dad needs help right now so even if I were more financially secure, I wouldn’t be going anywhere, anyway.
How is she independent but stays with her parents to save money and it’s a good idea? 🤣🤣
She’s right about her reasons for living with her parents still, but if thats her reason, then there’s nothing wrong with a man doing the same thing.
To me, it kinda sounds like she expects her man to pay for everything 🤷🏼♀️
Edit; adding on… personally I wouldn’t want to be with anyone who still lives with their parents because parents being there is automatically a restriction on your freedom and your privacy. And I always dreamed of moving out as soon as I possibly could, I want my partner to also feel that way
Society judges manhood by their output and purpose. Unfortunately men have to wake up and earn their man card every day by showing their utility and demonstrating their ability to provide. Her comments are direct and blunt, but to her credit she is honest and this point of view is not particularly rare.
What a load of nonsense and ridiculous double standards!