I know it’s probably self explanatory but tbf it’s not to me (I am pretty slow on the uptake XD ). Is it another way of saying they are looking for something casual? I’m looking for a relationship so would rather cut out people before meeting that aren’t looking for the same. Just, can’t ever tell what that line means and I get it a lot!
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Optimist take: Casual but willing to catch feels and turn into an LTR for the right person.
Pessimist take: Wishy-washy nonsense meaning they don’t know what they want and will mostly likely waste your time.
Don’t take it personally or let it phase you. Do take it personally if “where it goes” turns out to be the bedroom more often than anything. Better yet save yourself the trouble and wait some time to get intimate, nobody can keep their guard up forever.
I used to put that because I kept getting matched with people who instantly wanted to act like my boyfriend. Many texts per day. Forced fake intimacy. So to me it was like “Let’s take it slow” was what that meant. Just because I agree to a second date doesn’t mean I want good morning, good afternoon and good evening texts. I don’t want pet names in the first week. I used it to mean, let’s just date and get to know each other and let the whole relationship stuff develop naturally.
To me that always means casual. If they cannot even commit to saying the word relationship in the description they will be just as averse to it in real life.
How else I am supposed to date? I can’t possibly know what sort of connection I will want with a particular person before I’ve even met them.
It’s a disclaimer because people think if they even so much as hint that they might be interested in a serious relationship, it’s an irrevocable contract signed in blood and they’ll never be able to change their mind. Wish people could see that agreeing to be in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re stuck there forever – it means you’re going to try it out and if it doesn’t work, break up. There’s nothing to be afraid of. (*end rant).*
Some people, like myself, aren’t looking for any kind of relationship in particular.
Like, in my life some people I’ve hooked up with, some I’ve dated casually, and a couple got serious. It’s all contextual and will continue to be.
I honestly think it’s weird when people are super intentional about dating. Like, how unfun it must be to constantly be auditioning dates for a prescribed role in my life.
I don’t think it really means anything. Usually you can select casual explicitly if that’s what you’re looking for. But technically, even for relationship minded folks, we’ll multidate until we meet one person we want to pursue, and even then, it’s a toss-up over whether they’ll want to pursue us.
I think that the vast majority of men cannot put down “something casual” and still get matches. So they chose some vague in-between thing like “see where it goes.” And I also think that the vast majority of people can’t put down “marriage” and still expect to get matches. Because nobody wants that kind of pressure on a first date. I could be wrong, of course.
Happy to date when they’re bored, looking for their dreamboat/manic pixie dream girl.
Weird i always assumed this means want to hang out and find out if we are ltr compatible. It’s way to say I’m not going 0 to 100
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I think it’s a worry about someone getting too invested too fast, which can definitely happen. There was definitely a period in my life where dating was fine, but was I ready to commit my life to someone unless they were the right person? Nope.
I think it differs from “casual” in that I’d think casual means they’re actively sleeping with other people/don’t want to even **consider** commitment.
I’m currently going on dates with someone where we’ve discussed taking things one step at a time – she’s in an emotionally vulnerable place, I’m in a space where I’m kinda pursuing a relationship but know this might not go anywhere, so we’re just prepping each other for the idea that it could be a very abrupt “this isn’t working out, we’ve gone too far for me to be comfortable, let’s either take a step back or end this.”
It means, I am possibly interested in a relationship with the right person. So I will date and see how things progress and then decide.
They only want to fuck.
It’s exactly what it says. It means they want the relationship to be defined by what feels right, rather than deciding what it ought to be at the outset. You know how people wind up in relationships when they aren’t looking for them? But they take the relationships seriously because of how they’ve naturally come to feel for the other person? Yeah, they want that. Not the “looking for a spouse and if you’re not willing to audition for that role then don’t talk to me” type.
I could be wrong, but if I used or heard this line, my take, based of course on my overall impression of how we relate to one another, is that this is something you would say to someone you do not want to scare off, but also genuinely don’t want to hurt (emotionally).
But that’s coming from someone (me) who wouldn’t ask out someone and wouldn’t agree to a date they invited me on unless I had genuine interest in her as a possible life partner/long term relationship, so if I’m saying or hearing that line, its because either I suspect I like her a lot more than she likes me back OR vice versa.
Either way, that wouldn’t be a negative to me, and VERY different from “I’m definitely not looking for something serious right now,” which would tell me to close up shop and move on.
I find that a lot of people who are immediately vocal about “wanting something serious” are often expecting marriage or kids under a condensed timeline, and it’s sort of codespeak for that. I know there are a lot of childfree people on Reddit but that’s what I usually see in the wild. I would absolutely get into a serious relationship with an amazing girl who matched my personality, but I’m not trying to do world’s fastest marriage speedrun with some of these people.
Just ask them “what are you looking for?”
If they continue to be vague: double down on clarifiers .
“Could you tell me more about what you mean”
If that does not work: ask
“Are you looking to date for fun or for commitment”
If all of this fails say: I’m looking to date and find a Lo term relationship, this is a deal breaker
It means going on a few dates to get to know you is not saying I’m committing to a relationship with you regardless, just because we matched online.
If I get to know you and we are better off as friends or networking peers, I welcome that.
If I get to know you and we both want more, I welcome that.
It doesn’t mean casual it means I’m wise enough not to set unrealistic expectations on a stranger just because we liked each other’s pictures
It doesn’t mean anything to me. People are either going to be into you or not. If it’s not a “fuck yes” from the other person that basically counts as a no for me anyway
For me it means: I’m interested in dating and getting to know you, but until we get to know each other we’re not making anything “social media official” or assigning titles to anything. We’re just “dating.”
Not in a fuck around and find out what we are kind of way.
When I say something like that it means I want a relationship but with the right person, and if you’re not the right person I’m not opposed to casual sex.
For me it would mean, could be casual, could be fwb, could be long term relationship. Depending on how compatible the other person is it could be any of those things. If I was single, I’m not going to say I only want long term, you can have fun along the way trying to find something long term.
At our age, a lot of women are “dating with a purpose”. I would prefer to be in a relationship. What I want from that relationship will depend on the individual I am with. I do not have a particular goal in mind and I don’t want to mislead someone.
I personally feel like if someone is dating with a purpose “looking for marriage/kids in the short term” than they might pick the “good enough” partner. I don’t really want to be in a relationship where I was just good enough.
Aside from arranged marriages, doesn’t everyone date and see where it goes?
That should be everyones default attitude really….
Whats the alternative.. “dating and want to marry anyone who says hi “.
I used to say this when I – honestly – was not sure what I wanted. I suspect that was in part because I had yet to meet anyone that really made me want to lock them down. That said, if someone says this, I wouldn’t put too much stock into it because it means what is written on the box. The person doesn’t want to force anything; just hang out and have fun, and see where things go.
However, I think that it is still important to define what the other person wants. Sure, let’s take our time, but are you just wanting something casual? Or are you ultimately looking to meet someone to have a serious relationship with? Maybe you’re after something casual where you’re friends with benefits. I think most people – irrespective of whether or not they want to take it slow – have a good idea of what they are looking to get out of their dating experience.
And yea, sometimes that is just the goal of meeting people and letting things play out. But it is important to make sure that your goals align, because there is nothing worse at this age than to sink months or years into someone, and then find out that they want something completely different from you.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to see where things go. You have to have your own boundaries your own limits. If you don’t want to be sexually intimate don’t be sexually intimate trust me this will sort through a lot of problems. Bottom line if you want cancel sex go for it if you want a relationship go slow with whoever says that.
it means I’m not sure yet
I had someone say they wanted to “see where things go and let it develop naturally” in response to me asking for sexual exclusivity and it really didn’t sit well with me (this was two months in). Saying that you’re ready for something meaningful doesn’t mean you are obligated to end up in a relationship with that person you’re seeing. It just means you’re at a place in your life where that’s a priority to you and building a connection is something you are willing to make time for. That particular guy was really inconsistent in his behaviour and used his “let it develop naturally” response as an excuse for that. I think there are ways to word it that make intentions clearer. For example, “I don’t have expectations on the outcome, I want to let things develop naturally. But I’d like to meet someone who’s a really good fit for me and build on that when I find them”.
It means that they would be willing to enter a relationship with the right person and reserve the right to not get to serious for whatever reason.
“i don’t know you and haven’t decided what i think. it’s only date 2, and that’s not enough to be sure exactly”.
could be friends, maybe lovers, maybe something long term. you never know about long term until at least 6 months in
I abhor that line. It’s intentionally vague enough to give women hope of a LTR while having casual trysts imo.
I’d interpret as “I’m open to a relationship with the right person, but I might still continue to date you even if I have decided we aren’t compatible for the long term. I might just date you because I like the sex or your company. So if we get to a point where you would only want to continue if I had serious intentions, you should be explicit about it so that I don’t hurt you.”
On the other hand, if someone said they were looking for a relationship, I would assume they would break things off once it becomes clear a relationship isn’t in the cards.
I think everyone’s “seeing where it goes” or basically having fun until they meet someone that makes them change their mind.
I’m interested in dating, but I do NOT want to see how any of it turns out. Nope. Not for me.
Yes, it means casual but is meant to not scare off people who don’t really want casual so they can cast a wide net.
It also means “if you’re a perfect unicorn, then I may consider something more”.
When I wrote that, it meant “I’m not actively looking for a serious relationship but I’m also not against one so if the sex is good and we get along I’m not going to run if I catch feelings”.
*”Best case scenario: I want a relationship*
*Worst case scenario: I want my dick sucked*
*Im not here to make friends”*
At least thats what it means for me