Does anyone else have immense overthinking after social situations? I’ve just been for drinks with some friends and now I’m intensely overthinking every little thing I said and did and what they think of me. I feel like I’m totally alone in this and need some tips on how to stop doing this?

17 comments

  1. I find what works for me best is finding something to occupy my mind as quick as possible, combined with telling myself “they don’t care as much I think they do” or something along those lines. Noone on here has any real fixes for issues like these. They just tell you to “sEeK cOUnseLiNg”.

  2. 👋

    Fellow over thinker here. I have been in the same situation countless times. It’s particularly bad if I get a bit tipsy. I’ll wake up the next day and I feel so embarrassed thinking I said or did something wrong. I find that limiting myself to a 2 drink maximum at social gatherings is really helpful in curbing my anxiety. I also remind myself that I don’t judge other people or think poorly of them on social situations if they seem a little off or tipsy, so why would someone judge me for having a good time? Your friends love you, that’s why they invited you out for drinks with them, so try to remind yourself of that when you start feeling that way.

  3. Now is the time to learn how to be genuinely busy in your life pursuing your goals and hobbies, while interacting with other people on the side. You will build much needed self esteem and self confidence. The easiest way to get started is to find something you enjoy doing and keep doing it overtime. Chase excellence, not people.

  6. It will stop

    Just dont stop to meet people
    If you thing too much about 1 situation just ask that human and the overthinking will stop immediately

  8. I also over think and get mad over stupid stuff I have cut off my mom and her family because my moms actions

  9. Yea I do, you can learn a lot from it. Insecurities can be beneficial if not too crippling bc they can prevent you from getting stuck in your ways

  11. Woah. You’re not alone. Meet…. anxiety. I’m 28F and I still think about the time in the 3rd grade when I wiped out walking onstage getting my girl scouts vest.

    Write down your thoughts. Seeing them out in front of you, gets them out of your head and onto a physical piece of paper that’s outside of you. A lot of times reading it in front of you, you’ll realize that it sounds so ridiculous and irrational, which it is (because anxious thoughts are irrational), but the feeling is very real. And I understand and totally can validate your experience because MANY of us have been there.

    Instead of what did I do wrong, what do they think of me… turn it around. What did they do to impress you? Why do they deserve to take up space in your head? Are these people you enjoyed your time with? How did you feel when you were with them?

    Happy to comment with more advice if this is helpful!

  12. Yes . I.do.this.all.the.time!!! And I hate it!! Sorry no tips really, just that you are not alone out there!! Sending my empathetic thoughts your way op 💖

  13. I absolutely will 1000% do this. It’s so bad that most of my memories I remember are like this and with people I don’t even interact with or see anymore who probably don’t even remember the interaction and yet they will leave me feeling mortified over a situation that isn’t as big of a deal as I tend to make it in my mind. I used to work in retail and when I would see customers come in that I recognized were regulars I would internally cringe and feel mortified to interact with them and have tendency to beat myself up about it even though they thought of me as someone who’s friendly and nice, or really helpful and good at my job. I would totally project my feelings of myself onto the person in question and assume people hated me as much as I hated myself and were “just being polite”. There’s a lot to untangle there, but realizing that as awful as I would think I would be in a given interaction, that in the grand scheme of things someone who has a tendency to talk a little long because their friendly vs someone who is a jerk and/or creepy to the people around them and is completely tone deaf are two very different things. Overthinking really robs you of your ability to enjoy things and can affect reality itself. This also ruined dating for me despite having a lot of great qualities that a lot of people tend to look for. It’s been a lifelong struggle and it probably will be, but I genuinely want to keep working at it because overcoming it even by an inch and add a lot more happiness to my life. I absolutely wish the same thing for anyone else who struggles with this.

  14. Yeah, it’s usually why I’ll turn on a game or work on a project after a night out. It’s great for letting the thoughts flow out of your head.

  16. Yep, specially when thinking of things to say and whether or not I should say them, usually cuz i think it’s lame so didn’t usually go for asking questions but getting over that now

  17. I’m a psychologist and I just want you to know just how very VERY common this is unfortunately. It’s sucky because once we get on the overthinking cycle it’s hard to cut ourselves off, it becomes like quicksand. I actually recently posted a video talking about exactly this. Take a look at Workin On It with Dr. A on youtube and I think the 2 videos that could really help change this long and short term are : How to STOP Overthinking and How to Change Unhelpful Thoughts. Really hope it helps 🙂

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