20M. I’ve been using dating apps off and on for the last 3 years. I still have never been on a date. Due to how I was raised / circumstances, I didn’t socialise with girls not until said 3 years ago. Even then it was a short period of time. Got rejected. Resorted to using apps, also used during the pandemic.
I made changes in my life over the last 3 years. Yet I still struggle. Sometimes it just leads me to believe that looks and being rich is all that matters.
Anyways. I don’t really get the saying of “don’t look for love, love will find you.” Just doesn’t make sense to me. Advice? Should I just completely give up on the apps?
5 comments
The apps suck for guys.
That’s a cliche’. I don’t agree with it. Have you tried meeting people to date in person? Join groups where there are like minded individuals whether it’s a kayaking group of gaming group?
Yeah, I don’t use apps anymore and I get creeps on my FB and Whatsapp, so I gave up on looking for ‘love’.
As someone who already spent most of my life not looking for it, I don’t think it ever finds you. You should be taking some sort of active part in it.
It’s somewhat bad advice in my opinion. And personally I think it’s less true for men, who tend to be expected to do more of the initiating. Might be my own observation bias but I’ve seen more women express the “they just found me when I wasn’t looking” sentiment. (Also not to get too deep into this but from what I’ve seen women like the idea of having a story of how love found them, many would rather have that than say it took years of searching and dating to find someone – read those wedding stories of how the couples met, so many read like that whether it’s the whole truth of the story or not. Anyway).
I’d say it’s better to say it takes patience, and you’ll rarely ever get immediate results. Meeting someone takes effort, whether you’re directly looking to date or passively exposing yourself to more people.