Just ended a relationship and it hurts a lot

31 comments

  3. Focus on yourself for a year before another relationship. Workout, learn a new hobby, and go to therapy.

  5. Distraction.

    Keep busy with work and hobbies as much as possible. This will help your life too.

    Sitting idle just makes things work.

    Also disconnect from her completely. No socials/pics etc.

  7. Internalise it as not meant to be in this timeline, then accept that you need to move on and find things to keep yourself busy. The feelings should die in time.

  8. Avoid seeing your ex, whether it’s online or in real life. The less you see them, the sooner you’ll forget them.

  10. I usually focus on myself. I think of all the ways I would like to improve myself (eg, learn a new language or skill etc) and try on a new wardrobe and generally do everyday things that makes me happy (eg, gym, arranging flowers, trying new recipes etc)

    I like what Tom Ford said re: heartbreak and disappointment. He said he could feel that the world is crashing and everything’s going to hell, but when he focuses on his health and puts on a perfectly tailored suit, he feels immediately better.

  13. Go to the gym and get swole as fuck cuzzo. Nothing quite gets your mind off things like lifting heavy ass weight, seriously.

    I remember my first breakup after dating for 2.5 years. My chest felt like an black hole all the time, like an aching pain that would not go away where my heart was. It was hard to focus in school, I barely ate, emotionally was a wreck, couldn’t sleep, and it was hard to do anything. The ONLY thing that helped was going to the gym. Id get off classes for the day and head to the gym from 8 PM to 10 PM. I’d push my absolute limits and everyday after working out, that pain in my chest would subside for the night. Then eventually it went away all together.

  14. As they say to get over someone just get under someone else. Honestly that is the quickest way

  15. Get yourself distracted by something, obviously in a healthy way I do not recommend binge drinking or the like. Over time you will get through it. I can recommend video games they work very well for me.

  16. i don’t know the correct answers, but what i did back then, i allowed myself to crying a lot on the middle of the night

    i also told my friends about my sadness, luckily at least 2 friends want to listen about my grievance

    few weeks after breakup i took vacation and traveling to some countries, idk it’s good solution or not, but seeing new place keep me distracting to not thinkig about my ex so much

  17. Someone said to make a list of pros and cons of the person (if they did the breaking up). But at the end write they chose to leave. And that a must. It cements the notion that its over and out of your control.

  18. Pain of heartbreak was a lot like grief for me. It’s not something you get over more something you learn to live with. Eventually as you create new memories, the pain subsides as the memory of it all does.

    So for me it’s about distractions over time. Just keep yourself busy and in positive situations so you can gather as many new memories as possible and just forget about it.

    I did this after a partner of 2 years broke up with me when I was far more invested than her. It took a while but I feel nothing now.

  20. Non stop gym. Everyday. Let the emotions flow through the weights and help improve your physique

  21. Welcome to the gym, brother.

    But aside from that, delete her from your life. Its over and it doesn’t help. Go reconnect with old friends, allow yourself to feel.

  22. Workout, hang with friends. Let yourself cry at home. Try not to be venting to friends too much about the breakup. Like let it out once but then be like “I’m trying to move forward though.” And talk about other stuff.

    The rest is just time man. Been there and it always sucks.

  24. Go outside a lot, listen to music that you enjoy and will keep your mind productive in different places. Sports aren’t for everyone, but I’d recommend frisbee golf for someone who likes any sports, and drawing/journaling for people who don’t. Frolf is great because it’s relatively cheap, can be done anywhere, and you don’t have to be that good at anything to be good at that, and you enjoy lots of sunshine. Journaling has made it esaier for me to express myself and see my thoughts on a page and not to lose them. A lot of the times, I’ll have the same thought over and over to not forget it, but once it’s down on a piece of paper of a Google Doc, I can process it easier and toss in quicker. Everyone says it and I used to makr fun of it, but man oh man does it make life easier.

  25. A dog, hunting, fishing, camping, biking, hiking. Nature seems so solve problems. I think its because it gives you perspective.

  26. I know it gets repeated ad nauseam around here but after wallowing for a couple days your friends: squat, deadlift, and bench will be waiting to help you walk it back from the edge.

  28. Wake up early, drink loads of water then take a huge dump, exercise, eat healthy, read books that’ll help you.

  29. Keeping yourself distracted.

    Reading some great novels when at home. Turn off the TV. Keep your mind occupied.

    The Shadow of the Wind

    Killer Angels

    The Ailienist

    All great reads.

    Outdoor activities. Long, vigorous walks and hiking.

    Exploring subjects of interest.

  30. Rebuild your life make new changes that you are comfortable with, this is not the end of your life it’s just the start for a new chapter

  31. Keep busy and remember if they broke up with you, you shouldn’t chase/worry about someone that doesn’t want you. Move on because they will.

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