I work in the Emergency Room, not a medical provider. I’ve worked at this hospital 4 years and overall love it. Great benefits, overall positive environment, employee resources, etc.
I landed this Supervisor role 1 year ago. I love everything about it, except my “boss”.
I’m 30 (F). For context, I lead a team of 30 people. Like 28 of those are females. I love the fast pace and the direct impact of the emergency room. I love mentoring and guiding everyone on my team. I love the statistical side and doing reports.
Supervisor < Manager < Director < VP of dept.
I think it’s important to note that the person in my position prior to me was actually a manager. Same job, same workload, higher title, more pay. The most important aspect of this is that my current boss is a manager, so the girl before me didn’t have to deal with my boss or her overbearing ways. They were equals.
We are complete opposites. I thrive around people in social situations, she is super awkward and often times rude. My office is right there so I am very present, whether being hands-on alongside them or being a few steps away to help. Her office is in a completely different building. Even when she is in the same building, she actively avoids the emergency room and prefers to just send emails. I would be 100% OK with this if she just took a hands off approach, however, she wants me to keep her up to date on literally everything, not make any decisions on my own, and only do things her way.
She used to call my phone constantly. It literally averaged 18 calls a day. After many conversations with her boss, I was able to get that to stop but it has basically swapped out for in person meetings. I dread them and they are a giant waste of time. It seems like I’m doing every job twice. Completing the task for the first time, then recapping it in detail for her a second time. Two employees disagree on something? I can have that handled in a matter of minutes, but rather than moving forward, I spend 30+ minutes running over it with her.
I don’t think it would be that bad if she kept up, but she tends to be slower at understanding and often times asks completely irrelevant questions.
Example: my team was excluded when someone ordered pizza for all Emergency Room staff. They were frustrated. I only had four people working that day, so I bought us pizzas. It came up in my meeting with my boss because this isn’t the first time my team has been excluded and I was hoping it could be addressed higher up. After explaining all that, she said “wait, you let them eat pizza in front of patients? Pizza is a smelly food”.
My jaw literally dropped. How is that what you got out of the story? So I had to explain that no, they did not eat the pizzas in the front waiting room in front of patients. They ate them in the break room. It once again occurred to me that this was just a big waste of my time and it always feels like we’re digging out of a hole to just catch her up to be able to begin at ground level with what I actually need help with.
You may be asking, well if I’m needing help, don’t I need her? I don’t. I know how to handle these situations, I know the people I need to reach out to, etc. she just gets mad and it becomes a way bigger issue if I handle things myself.
•I easily work 10+ hours of overtime, and I’m actually on call 24 hours a day. Yet my start time is technically 8 AM and if it’s 805 and she hasn’t heard from me, she starts asking around. She doesn’t always reach out to me right away for the fastest answer, she will start texting other people asking where I am, or even call the emergency room line multiple times.
My team can’t stand her. They constantly are complaining about her with similar situations. They say they went to her with a question but she completely didn’t answer it and instead got onto them about something else entirely. They bring their complaints about her to me, but I don’t really know what to do because I’ve already complained to her boss and to HR, so if they just keep hearing the complaints from me it seems like I’m the one bitching. I’ve directed them to go to HR themselves, but for the most part they refuse and say that they either aren’t comfortable with that, or don’t want to be retaliated against, or don’t want to go through it just to have it not be handled.
Here’s the kicker. My boss is jealous that the team is more fond of me, Plus there are a few other elements that I’ve gotten recognition on that I think have lead her to be subconsciously vindictive. So now, practically every single week, there is some new stories she is chasing trying to get me in trouble with. She’s constantly trying to get me written up. And for the most part, they are so absurd. One week, she apparently heard me call a different Director “daddy” And was going after me for it being inappropriate.. She took it all the way to HR. Literally never said this and was eventually cleared.
We had some protesters across the street for a construction site. She somehow came up with the story that I got one of them fired and that’s why they were protesting. I literally don’t know any of them, don’t actually even know why they were protesting, wouldn’t even know how to get anyone in trouble.
Sometimes it’s less dramatic events, but every few weeks it’s something very dramatic like that. So far, I’ve been cleared of every accusation. Although it does feel like the damage is done.
I’m currently writing this before work while I dread the week starting. About half of yesterday was spent dreading the work week.
I’ve gone to our Director multiple times. That seemed very effective in the beginning, as him and I have very similar communication styles. For some reason that abruptly stopped working. My assumption is that she got onto him for handling it.
I sat down multiple times with HR. Although they are super nice and understanding in the moment, literally nothing came of it. Another healthy reminder that HR is not on your side.
I’ve had 7 to 10 staff members say they are ready to quit. They directly say her name and say that is the reason. However, I don’t know how to take this information to anyone important without sounding like a brat. “ we have quite a few staff members that are hanging on by a thread. If I leave or I’m taken out of this position, you are going to lose a lot of people”
I’m sure there are gaps that don’t add up. I could write about this situation for hours, But I tried to pick the most important points that illustrate what I am trying to say. Literally any advice is appreciated.
3 comments
If you have been there for a year in this role, could you find a similar or step up role in a different hospital? Maybe there’s people you get along better with elsewhere?
This may sound a little direct but here are my early morning no coffee thoughts as someone with managerial experience in healthcare.
It makes sense to have that level of overhead with that many team members. At the end of the day, the primary function of your role is to inform and assist your manager to execute the plans put in place by the VP. The VP commands it from
the director, the director explains it to and holds your manager accountable for the results. If she’s trying to hold people accountable and you defend them or make them feel better about certain things that are not okay with the hospital then that creates conflict and people will want to quit because your manager becomes vilified. If your director isn’t listening to you anymore it’s likely because you’re being perceived as insubordinate or trying to go around your manager. Plus, directors should only be informed of big picture stuff to inform the VP.
Overall, you’re in a leadership role now and the way for you to move up is by getting along with your leader and doing whatever your leader needs to make the plans the VP is given by the execs a reality.
HR protects the company and not the employee. So unless her behavior has a negative affect on patients or will damage their reputation, it is not in their scope unfortunately. Only way for her to be removed is to convince her boss, or higher up, to do away with her position. I totally disagree with these methods but that is how I have seen the game played. Can only use the tools given sadly.
For starters I don’t work in medicine, I’m also not a supervisor, but I’ve had shitty managers and in my latest team we’ve set up an agreement and it has been wonderful to point to that when management wants to go against something that’s recorded in that document…
Second, have you actually had a conversation with her about these frustrations? I don’t recall reading that.
During your conversation with her, set a topic and stick to that topic, ie your frustrations and how to over come them. Come to the meeting with potential solutions. Use I words, “I feel xyz when abc occurs.” Avoid accusatory language, ie “you never listen.” Set some boundaries during that meeting. Ask her what her preference on communication is and what items she’d like notified on. Make her choose a specific number that doesn’t include everything. The other items will be left to you. Go through your position description and it should help you determine those items. Set a time for recurring meetings like the last hour of your shift. Then save all items for that set time, unless there’s something emergent that needs addressed before those recurring meetings.
After the meeting, draft up an “agreement” of the items discussed and both agree to it. Also write in a clause that allows for revision of the agreement. You need to document items in writing. Hold her to the boundaries you both agreed upon, but politely, and refer to the agreement if she starts pushing back or going off course. If either party wants to make changes set up a specific meeting that only focusses on that task.
Management doesn’t need to know every detail. That often leads to confusion and unnecessary drama. They really only need to know a summary and the big items such as those that might cause controversy or other issues. If she asks for more info be brief and to the point. But also refer to those boundaries and items you two agreed upon.
Good luck.