Just venting because today is bad. Both working, 2 school age kids. Start of covid I worked remotely and spouse did not. I tried to take advantage and get household chores done when I could, start dinner, pick up kid etc. Of course not all the time but spouse was obviously irritated with commute and stress of office so I made an effort.
Mid covid we are both fulltime remote. Spouse and I spend lots of time together, seem to split chores and such but not always, no real bad blood because we are either both on it or both lazy, and seem to communicate effectively if it was a problem.
I took a new job a few months ago, ‘hybrid’ but I am driving 2 hours a day, 4 days a week most weeks. Spouse is remote and takes initiative with the household less and less. I am not a cook, and for the last few years of marriage spouse has taken over the kitchen because they are obviously more skilled at cooking and enjoy making meals. Recently doesnt seem like that though. There is resentment when i ask about dinner. Nothing in progress when I walk in.
I am tired when I get home. I am not adjusting to back in office well and the drive is hard. I miss being home but we talked about me doing this for at least a year, it was a good pay increase and a good move for me career wise. But I am not pulling weight at home and tbh I think it’s unfair to ask me to if my spouse is playing computer games when I come in and ‘forgot’ to start dinner the 4 nights a week when I work in office.
Anyway, this is a rant. We are mostly okay I’m just getting tired of this routine and same thing every night when I really love coming home to my family. I want nothing but relaxation when I get home but that’s really not fair to spouse either. I mentioned kids cause they are old enough to help out some with chores, we’re just shitty on enforcing it. Trying to grin and bear it until I can get another full time remote job that pays (haha)
4 comments
Have you talked about spouse being responsible for dinner? Or anything else?
With the pay increase, how about some of those make at home dinner kits, so yall can make it together when you get home with a glass of wine and 10 minutes is dinner!
Make dinner for you and the kids. It wont take long for the message to get through.
Start preparing meals in advance twice weekly, or once weekly and freeze the ones for later in the week. (NOTE: the reason I say so is that we don’t keep prepared food in the fridge for longer than 72 hours, although with having kids I would assume that wouldn’t be an issues).
There are always work-arounds, but you need to be able to sit down with each other and come to a consensus about who does what and when.