Some info about myself: I’m a 21 years old cis gender heterosexual male. I’ve never dated before due to how often I got bullied during 5th to 8th grade, how teasing people in my area tend to be and that I haven’t seen the appeal of being in a relationship and thought everyone I know was doing it just to look cool, so I never had crushes and my though process when I saw a nice girl was: “Yeah! I can see a relationship would work”, but I was never crazy about a person.
Now, fast-forward till today, I’ve being imagining myself in relationships (not with certain girls) and I think it would be really nice. Especially for how wholesome some relationships are. And now that I’m in college whit all that bulling and teasing being in my past and due to lonely feelings (I live alone in a single room and I have only my family to call from time to time), I think I should start trying finding someone.
My questions are:
1) Where to search?
I’m not really interested in my female classmates and, if it doesn’t work out, I don’t want to have to meet them every day till we graduate. Would you recommend dating aps?
2) What should I do/avoid doing in a relationship?
I know some basics like don’t rush it or not cheking in her belongings and try to trust her, but what other things should I consider?
tl;dr: I finally decided to start dating, but I don’t know where to start, so I’m seeking advice!
1 comment
1. Check out any clubs for hobbies within your college or outside your campus. Find stuff that interest you and matter to you. Don’t go to that club looking for a date; have fun, enjoy yourself, make friends first, a potential relationship may come out of that
2. Dating apps is fine but know that you’ll get a lot of duds before you find anything meaningful. Hell, you might get lucky and knock it out of the park on dating apps. It took me 6 YEARS on and off dating apps to find my fiancée.
3. What I think is key in any relationship is to listen. Not listen to make a response but to really listen to take in info, body language, emotional state. You will get all the information you need if you just sit tight and listen. We have two ears, put them to good use. Also, ask your partner if they’re venting or if they want a solution. My fiancée really likes that so she can just air out her grievances with work etc.
4. Find out your love languages and ask your partner what their love languages are and if neither of you know, take the online quiz together and learn them and execute them in your relationship.
Good luck out there dude.