2 weeks ago I was laid off for no reason, even after I asked. I have a month of severance pay, and continued insurance. But I have issues with my mental health, and this sudden layoff has effed me up. I feel so much anger, shame, and humiliation. Fortunately, I am okay financially. But I’m more concerned about my career.
And everyone is saying “get back out there right!”, or “don’t add that to your resume it doesn’t look good”, or “add it to your resume you did so much work even though it was short”…. and so I have been applying, but my head space is sh\\\*t right now. I did not see any of this coming. My mind is still blown. But they don’t want to answer any questions, and just want me gone.
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It feels wrong to apply for jobs because I’m applying for them in a horrible headspace. I’m just applying for the sake of applying. Because not having a job is shameful. Being let go feels shameful. I moved to a new city for this job and was laid off only a few months after.
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Tonight it all came to a head. I need people, to stop telling me to grind grind grind. When I’m barely coming to terms with my world getting flipped upside down unexpectedly only 2 weeks ago. I’m not performing mentally at my best, so how can I show an employer I’m a good candidate right now? I can’t. I need to take a second to breathe. Let myself heal for some time, and when I’m in a better headspace I will put myself out there again.
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I hate this “you need to do this and that” or “don’t do this or that”. I don’t know what I need to do right now! And neither do you! Let the person heal. Its’ been so easy for people to say “this happens all the time” but I’m the one that’s dealing with this. Not you.
F\*ck the archaic grind until you’re disintegrated. If I want a career, I need to get my headspace in check.