Last week my girlfriend was driving her dad’s car and got a flat tyre, yesterday she was driving her mom’s car and the car broke down out of nowhere. The cars went to the mechanic and both are fixed. But since yesterday she started talking about witchcraft, and that someone had cursed her cars. At first i thought it was a joke but then i realized it was serious, she really believes in witches and that people go to a witch to curse other person’s life. I also found out that she believes in the zodiac and in spirits and ghosts and really wants to go to a witch, and believes in stories her friends tell her about curses and superstitions like having with salt in your pocket to ward off the bad energies. I’m not going to break up with her because of that, but in my view it’s very childish to believe that, mostly because she believes in it because of her friends influence. However i find it very unattractive and when she talks about it i cant have a serious conversation, i just get annoyed and think she has a little weak and influenceable mind. If she believes this influenced by her friends stories, what other superstitions will she believe? I just wanted advice on how to deal with this situation, thank you.
3 comments
I mean, loads of people believe in an invisible man in the sky who sees everything. Or that certain rocks have magic powers. Or that we live multiple lifetimes. Or that we burn for eternity if we do bad things. Or none of the above.
There are so many belief systems out there, and nobody knows if any of them are *right* or not.
If she isn’t pressuring you into her beliefs, and she isn’t causing harm to anyone, what’s the big deal? You can gently let her know that you have different beliefs, but don’t bring her down for hers.
As an atheist I don’t think I could ever date a theist.
People can believe what they want. For instance, my dad is a very traditional man who worked as an engineer, enjoys watching football and nascar, and ran a farm. He also believes in past lives. His belief in past life was not something I discovered until very late in my teens. It never came up before that, and has barely if ever come up since then. I don’t share his belief, but it’s such a minor issue that it never really causes any issues. It doesn’t affect his spending, or his life choices, or anything else. It’s just a thing that he privately believes.
But your gf’s beliefs are not like that. She is using her beliefs to explain things that either HAVE an explanation (like a car breaking down) or that NEED NO explanation (like whatever coincidence or quirk of fate caused the car to malfunction in the first place). On top of that, she’s using those same beliefs to justify wasting money on “witches” (and no doubt would see no issue lavishing money on a psychic or palm-reader either). Her beliefs encourage her to put stock in superstitious behaviour which absolutely impacts her real-world actions.
All of which is to say you need to figure out how much her belief system aligns with yours. There’s no shame in breaking things off because you see the world in incompatible ways. Like I said, people can believe what they want, and I think contradictory beliefs can co-exist peacefully as long as those beliefs are confined to a more theoretical, intangible realm. When they start to impact or dictate a person’s daily behaviour, that’s when you need to be honest about how that feels.
Believing in any organized religion is just as childish