I don’t know where to start. Basically I’m terrified my boyfriend doesn’t want me. Last night I tried seducing him and it didn’t work. I had a shower, put lingerie on, waited for him to come to bed after playing video games alllll day. He saw me and didn’t even react. Said he ‘just didnt feel like it’. I’m trying so hard not to take it personally, but so much of my self-esteem stems from sexual attention. Is it me? Or is he really just not in the mood?
Edit: been long distance for 2.5 years, living together for 3 months. There have been extenuating circumstances causing us to not have sex, but i thought we were past that. I think im hyper-sexual. The sex isn’t non-existent, im thinking we have different libidos. Weirdly i dont enjoy masturbation. I dont want to cheat or leave.
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Talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel and what you want. Random people on the internet don’t know what your boyfriend is thinking and feeling and the only way to know is to talk to him…but talk to him about sex in a non sexual situation.
I‘m [26] in a similar situation with my gf and I can very much understand your frustration. We have been together for over 5 years abd always had regular and intensive sex. However it has been 4 months we didnt have sex, no blowjob either. we talked about it and she told me that she is going through something and i shouldnt worry. I respect her and dont try to force or talk her into sth but it still fucks with my brain. It‘s tough!! Talk to me if you want to share more experiences…
Just ask him straight up why he doesn’t want to have sex with you. It could be alot of reasons maybe he’s on a medication that you don’t know about that affects his drive or maybe he is going thru in life right now and lot mentally there could be depression so many things just be honest and ask him
I would have a very honest and respectful talk with him and find out why and what’s going on it may not really be anything he could just not be feeling sexual or some other reason
You need to give some background before others can make useful comments. How long is the relationship and was sex much better when you and him first met? What is the frequency of sex now? Is sex infrequent or non-existent? Right now we only know there is one incident where he failed to rise to the occasion and it doesn’t tell us much.
You spent a lot of effort getting ready for a sexy moment and it was exciting for you, but he came into the bedroom tired and not aroused. It may be that he didn’t feel like he could jump to your level immediately, when he thought he was going to bed. You can probably imagine feeling similarly with the roles reversed. Maybe a better approach to seducing him would be to drop sexy hints all day that you wanted to show off your lingerie later, if he was in the mood.. that might be the type of slower build up that he’d be able to mentally prepare for. But maybe not! You should talk to him and see if you can’t figure out what gets him going…
Express your feelings to him, but you have to understand that men shouldn’t be required to be ready for sex anytime, he might just be tired/not in the mood and maybe there’s really nothing more than that.
I’m sure his libido isn’t helped by playing games allllllll day…
“…after playing video games all day” at 29?
Definitely different libidos..libido… maturity levels…
a good conversation is needed to start off and see where that takes you but I suspect these 2 reasons above are a major factor. best wishes.
when you and him lived far from each other, i assume that mean a non-existant sex life?