Do I belong anywhere?

To cut it short my social skills are non existant. Social life as well. I don’t have any friends, no one calls me, or invites me to anything. I won’t get into it but my life took a turn for the worse when I was a kid and it effected my mental health/social skills. I’m pretty awkward and shit, i struggle to come up with topics to talk about with people and I just can’t forge a deep bond with anyone. At the same time though, I feel like i’ve been such a loner and alone that I don’t really care about my social life. But sometimes it feels like maybe i’m missing out on what it means to be human. I care but I don’t. It’s weird. I want to make friends, but I also couldn’t care less to. I feel like I don’t belong anywhere. I’m bad at one on one conversations, and when its a group I just get overshadowed by the talkative peeps. I usually just end up leaving those type of situations. Does anyone relate?