How do you know if you want to be with your SO or you just don’t want to be alone?

12 comments

1. If your asking yourself this type of question I think you have your answer.

   You can ask yourself this question. You know if your lying to yourself or not.

2. Well I won’t need to know because whenever I date someone, I will only ever get into a relationship if I’m confident enough in myself, my own value and my own company. There’s no point getting into something and caring for someone else if I can’t be self sufficient and independent enough alone.

3. I don’t start dating people if I’m just doing it so I’m not alone. I need to be happy on my own already. Because I shouldn’t have to rely on my partner all the time to make me happy.

4. Think about if anyone could fill that gap for you or if only they could. Do you think the grass in greener or are you happy with them?

5. Because I genuinely like their company and want to be around them.

   I’m perfectly happy spending time on my own, I’ve moved overseas by myself, traveled on my own, lived on my own. There are very few people I can spend all day around and still want to spend more time with them. I like their company, be it having a discussion, playing Diablo together, cooking, or us both doing our hobbies in the same room.

   I’m more than comfortable on my own. My partners have an uphill battle and I need to like them more than I like being alone.

6. I’m happy and enjoy my time when I’m with him. I think about little knick knack he likes when I’m at the store and want to give him something out of the blue. I look forward to our dates and the next time I get to see him. I enjoy talking to him on the phone and texting him throughout my day. We make each other laugh daily and can find joy in mundane subjects. I’ve never thought I’d be happier alone than with him or felt like he was annoying me by spending time with me.

7. I’ve been alone and happy. I’ve been in a relationship and miserable.

   Single > Unhappily partnered

8. Ignore comments that say things like “if you’re asking then you have your answer”.

   Sometimes it really is hard to look at the situation when you’re in it — sometimes your SO gives you so much happiness, you might start to feel like you won’t feel that happiness level without them. Especially in the early stages of the relationship.

   But if you can find other forms of happiness outside your relationship, and then add onto that happiness with your SO, I think you’re good!

9. I like being alone (and I do have a lot of friends) so being alone isn’t a problem.

   SO adds to my happiness and he’s a person I do want to spend time with.

   Since HS, the litmus test for me has been visualizing cleaning up after a person because they were sick. If the idea/the visualization doesn’t repulse me, then I know I really like that person a lot.

10. I think for me it’s when I realized my life is truly better and more joyful with them. Not because I don’t want to be alone, but because I genuinely think my life is better with them than without them. Even when things are hard. I love being alone and treasure my alone time when I get it. I start to genuinely miss my SO when they’re away or when I go off on vacation or whatever without them. I never used to miss anyone I was with before because they didn’t make anything better or more joyful even if I enjoyed their company. I hope this makes sense. There is probably a better way to articulate what I’m trying to say.

11. I think for me it’s when I realized my life is truly better and more joyful with them. Not because I don’t want to be alone, but because I genuinely think my life is better with them than without them. Even when things are hard. I love being alone and treasure my alone time when I get it. I start to genuinely miss my SO when they’re away or when I go off on vacation or whatever without them. I never used to miss anyone I was with before because they didn’t make anything better or more joyful even if I enjoyed their company. I hope this makes sense. There is probably a better way to articulate what I’m trying to say.

12. I feel this question. Relationships are not linear and sometimes time apart is more rewarding than time spent. Your mental health can vary and emotional, physical needs can evolve – and it’s easy to feel like you grew apart. Loneliness within a relationship is a real thing.
    You know if you want to be with them by communicating- how you feel, your needs, expectations. Relationships need time and energy and I do think that if you and partner see eye to eye on most things, it is worth investing in.

    X-ing out and starting over can sometimes feel like a beautiful fantasy – but sometimes it is just that – fantasy.