My (20F) boyfriend (24M) has cheated on me in the past. I had found countless women he’s sexted, messaged, or planned to meet up with when I was using his phone last month. A snapchat notification from one of them popped up and that’s how I came across it. Of course, this wasn’t the only social media platform they were on, and he was also using dating apps. In several messages, he discussed meeting up with a few of these women, but as far as I could tell and what he said to me, he never met them. He says nothing physical has ever happened and says he only did it for attention because he was insecure about himself and thought I was going to break up with him (although I had never given him a reason to think this) . I decided to give it another chance (this is not the problem in question, continue further), and he willingly told me I could look at his phone if I had any suspicions in the future. Last night, I decided to look at it for the first time since then. I found messages between him and his ex-gf’s father taking place when my boyfriend and I were still in the dating phase before making it official, but he had already told me he wasn’t seeing anyone else and neither was I. He discussed getting back together with his ex in the chats with her dad. This wasn’t such a big deal to me, but I found that he and his ex were still briefly chatting every now and again while we were officially together and exclusive. I also found that he still interacts with many of the women he previously planned to meet up with/sexted: replying to their instagram/snapchat stories, liking their posts and pictures. And he also likes/follows plenty of half-naked/lingerie/only-fans posts from several other girls, now this is something him and I have discussed that I am extremely uncomfortable with, as I see it as a sign of major disrespect. He also previously told me he would stop and that he unfollowed it all. I am very sick to my stomach over this and would like some advice. Does this mean he’s cheating again? which would mean I would break up with him. If so, how should I go about it?
6 comments
If it’s cheating to you then he is. And you break up with him by saying: hey, we’re done. And blocking him.
Nope, not okay. You voiced your discomfort and how you felt disrespected and he’s doing it again.
This is a clear sign of disrespect and no one deserves to be treated like that.
Relationships are built on trust and respect and he is giving none of that too you. If you try and ignore it, you will be miserable and the outcome will be the same.
Break it off, it will suck in the beginning but remind yourself why you are leaving.
You’re in a relationship with a big doggo
The first sentence alone is enough for me to say, just sent him a text and say it’s over. You’re honestly going to let someone cheat on you? You’re so young, you need to be finding the right partner, not clinging onto the wrong one. Have some self worth
He might or might not cheat on you but as far as I found from your post you both want something different from each other and it may lead to doing something which is kinda disrespectful to another person. Simple as that he and you are not into each other means you guys do not deeply love each other 🤷🏼♂️
You need to end it. Once a cheater always a cheater. The more chance you give the more they will abuse it. They just get better with lies and hiding