I’m a young guy that’s usually fairly social with people I feel comfortable around and know. When I talk to new people, I have a decent conversation for maybe 4-5 mini then I just blank and go completely silent, I sometimes think of stuff to say a few minutes later and can maybe pick up the conversation again but I rarely get into a conversation where I don’t just completely switch off at random and have absolutely nothing to say (this can also happen when I’m talking to people I know). I rarely to never try starting a conversation with new people, I just feel that it takes far too much effort to try and talk to people and that I’d rather just sit there with my random and sometimes upsetting thoughts. Even when I do want to go out of my way to chat with someone, I have no idea how to start; I was into this girl in my class and would very briefly joke around with her and say random funny things based on whatever is happening in class at that moment, that was completely effortless for me, but whenever I’d try to start a conversation, I’d have no idea what to say and even if I did we’d talk for no more than a minute and I just simply give up on scouring my brain for things to say. What on earth should I do to solve this fairly frustrating issue?
1 comment
I’m a young man with a lot of the same troubles myself. I’ll share with you some insight I’ve grown to accept in my personal experiences.
Try not to let social interactions be an echo chamber of intrusive thoughts. You worked up the confidence to chat with a girl in your class, great man. You seem to make the effort to socialize when the urge comes to you, and that’s a great quality to have. A majority of people do not ever act on their inner-impulsivities.
Conversation should never be forced. You can talk about literally anything, and as long as you make it interesting, people will often buy into whatever bullshit you may spew out of your mouth. Don’t be afraid to be interesting. Be *inadvertently* yourself at all times, if you can manage it. It is so much easier to interact with other people when you just let shit flow naturally. There is flourishment within being abrasive, and you will often find that people are much more attracted to you socially when you are so certain of who you are as a person.
And please, learn to consider silence as common in social settings. You do not have to consistently interact with someone to be in contact with them. A healthy relationship with formidable silence makes the seemingly “awkward” moments just as comforting as the affirmations you receive through words and actions.