How do you have personal time away from your partner without them getting upset?

27 comments

  1. If your partner gets mad at you for having some time alone then thata something to talk with her. Little red flag

  2. You the things you do, like a hobbie they don’t have. For guys, fishing use to be the big one. I still remember going out with my dad and him sparking a joint and me just farting around on the waters edge, oops forgot the bait again

  3. Communication. Both of you need to have time to yourselves and you need to discuss that. Some couples do everything together and if that’s their thing, ok.

    As I tell my wife “how can I miss you if you won’t go away?”

  5. My boyfriend and I have arranged to have one night every week spent on just our own selves.

    For us it’s Wednesday night.

    If your partner “gets mad” that you need some personal time, you need to point out that it is a relationship “red flag” to use outbursts of negative emotions to co-opt all of a loved one’s free time for one’s self.

    It demonstrates a lack of respect for your needs, and that is unfair to you.

    Such anger usually stems from an unarticulated emotional insecurity.

  6. Everyone needs some personal time. We schedule together time as well as personal time. It’s important to have both.

  7. My wife has lots of siblings whereas I grew up an only child. I am use to entertaining myself whereas she is use to doing things with others. This causes issues sometimes bc she cant handle being with herself and her thoughts.

  8. I think your “partner” doesn’t understand the definition of “partner.”

  9. Sounds like codependency. My wife struggle with this but has really improved and worked on it. I would look into some material and maybe it can help.

  11. go to work

    go to your mom’s

    go for a walk/hike

    take a long shit

    sit in the car, in the garage, with the music goin

  12. I don’t have a partner that gets upset when I have personal time.

    It’s called being in a healthy relationship.

  15. By dating adults who are emotionally mature enough to understand that that’s a thing that people need and that it’s healthy. And by dating adults who respect my needs and that I need to do certain things to maintain my mental health.

    If I was dating someone who got upset that I needed alone time I’d have a very serious conversation with them and if it didn’t go well, that would probably be the end of that relationship. I refuse to compromise my needs and the maintenance of my mental or even physical health to appease a partner who can’t understand or respect that.

  16. “hey xyz im a little overwhelmed with abc. i would really like to reset my batteries with some alone time doing what ever.”

  20. There is nothing in this world that cannot be fixed with honest and open COMMUNICATION. So simple, so hard to do. I’ve been at this game a good long time and I’ll tell you if you cannot talk to her about being done personal time, you’re in trouble.

  22. “Hey babe, I’m gonna take the evening and go do X, I need some time to recharge and clear my head, I love you and will see you Y”

  23. “Hey babe, I’m gonna take the evening and go do X, I need some time to recharge and clear my head, I love you and will see you Y”

  24. I’m a woman! I struggled with jealousy and codependency when I was young, so I am not unsympathetic to your girlfriend. However it’s very important that her issues don’t have an impact on your ability to spend time without her. You need to communicate this need calmly and clearly. And explain that it’s important for you. My husband and always encouraged me to spend time alone with my people while he was out, I suggest you do the same for her, especially if she’s a naturally anxious person.

  26. They want time away from you too. So just do your own thing and they will too.

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