This question is inspired by a post I saw in the AskMen sub earlier.

32 comments

  1. Yes he did
    And I comforted him. I basically did the same he always does when I’m sad. This didn’t change my view on him at all. I just felt like he trusts me a lot because he usually never cries in front of people.

  2. Yes I’ve had a partner cry in front of me, it did not change my view of them in a bad way at all. It’s nice to know someone can trust you to show their vulnerability and allow you to comfort them.

  3. No, but I’d probably hug him tightly and rub his back or lay his head on my chest while I play with his hair, let him talk or vent if he needs to and ask if there’s anything I can do/anything he needs. It helps when he’s having a panic attack or feeling anxious so I’d want to make sure I’m doing something that can sooth him.

    As for the relationship part, it wouldn’t change anything for me. I’d be more concerned if he *wasn’t* comfortable feeling vulnerable around me and bottled everything up instead.

  4. Multiple times.

    But the first time he cried in front of me it threw me off. We were in a huge argument about his addiction, which he was in complete denial of and I was to the point of being 100% done with him. I was screaming at him and he got very quiet and just burst into tears. As mad as i was at him, I understand how tight of a grip addiction can have on your life. I just hugged him and he melted into my arms sobbing even harder. I didn’t speak, just hugged him and let him get everything out. We’re doing much better now, but it hurt to see him break down like that.

  5. Yes. I comforted him and acted with empathy, because that’s what you do when someone you care about is upset. It did not change my veiw of him or our relationship, because I was already aware that he is a human with emotions.

  6. My ex cried a few times. I didn’t feel any particular way about it. To me, it’s a normal, non-destructive way to express feelings. I was just like, “Oh you’re crying. Here, have some cookies and a glass of warm milk. You can talk about whatever’s bothering you if you want.”

  7. Yes, many times in 22 years. I handled it by comforting when I can, but usually I’m crying too. It did not change my view of them because I wouldn’t be in a relationship with an emotionless robot in the first place

  8. my current boyfriend has cried a few times, yes. however, it’s very rare as he has a really hard time letting anyone in on his feelings. not even his closest friends. i’m pretty much the only person he allows himself to be emotional in front of – though rarely.

    i usually hold him, pet his back or head and give him time to let it out. same for when he wants to rant. after that, i try and help him to find a solution if he wants to or distract him. depends on the situation.

    it hasn’t changed much, except made me feel closer to him. it helps to know what’s going on. i can’t be understanding or helpful if i’m shut out.

    he’s still the hottest, strongest and most lovable man i’ve ever met.

  9. One time my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night. He was very emotional and started tearing up. My response was to get my tired ass out of bed and walk over to his place (luckily we used to live very close to each other) go hold him and comfort him until he felt better.

    There’s been countless times where I cried and he was there for me. The least I can do is give that back in the rarer moments he gets sad. Emotional support to me is on of – if not the – most important things in a relationship.

  10. His older sister died eden he was a teenager. I saw him that day. I didn’t know what to say or what to do- we both wanted to be with each other but didn’t know the other felt the same, yet.

  11. Yes of course. He’s a human being with human emotions living in a world where shit happens sometimes.

    I’d be more concerned if he never cried. That’s abnormal and unhealthy.

  12. Yeah, we cry in front of each other. We’ve both been through a lot of things and badly traumatized by life. Hell, our rights as humans are still being threatened in many parts of our country. It’s hard not to feel overwhelmed sometimes.

  13. Oh yeah all of my partners have cried in front of me! Doesn’t change anything at all. I have sort of a go-to, which is I have them lay between my legs while I play with their hair and we can either talk, listen to music, or just cry. I’ve done this with a few of my close friends too, but I think it’s probably especially helpful w/ guys cuz a lot aren’t comfortable crying around others. So not looking directly at each other and letting them kinda hide their face if they want seems like it’s helped a few of my relationships be more emotionally honest.

  14. My ex did twice: once when Barcelona lost a match, and the second when he broke up with me for another woman

  15. Yes. He felt very bad and ashamed (growing up in a ‘boys don’t cry’ household in the 80’s). I just hugged him tight and told him it’s okay and that I love him.

    It changed my view of our relationship in a way that I now know he trusts me enough to express his deepest feelings to me and that it feels a lot deeper now.

  16. He cried when he was caught cheating! Not when his dog or dad died no, but when he knew he fucked up he would cry. No I didn’t comfort him and I don’t think I ever could when they’re like that. I view it as emotional manipulation so won’t pander to it! If he cried because he hurt me I might be more compassionate, but he legit said he didn’t think he’d get caught and is pissed at himself he did.

  18. Yes I’ve seen my husband cry.

    I did what he’d do for me – held him in silence until he felt better.

    It made me love him more.

  19. Yes. I sat with him, we held each other.

    No, it did not change my view of him because I’m not a fucking idiot who thinks men aren’t allowed to feel sad.

  20. Yes. I held him and comforted him the best I could. It did not change how I viewed my partner or our relationship. Why would it? We are both just humans, I feel like it would be very hypocritical if only I was allowed to show such emotions and he wasn’t just because he is a man.

  21. Yes, I handled it by comforting him, because he’s a human being with thoughts and feelings. It made me feel closer to him because that kind of vulnerability isn’t shown to just anyone. That means he trusts me with his feelings.

  22. Yeah my (-currently) fwb cried in front of me after sex while we were just chilling on the bed. Didn’t change my view of him. I just held his head to my chest and let him talk. It was obviously important because he shed tears for it. I would marry this guy if he wanted anything remotely close to a relationship with me. Sadly he doesn’t.

  23. A few times. I love a man who is not afraid to show sadness and vulnerability – too often the only emotion a man has been conditioned to show is anger. My husband doesn’t cry often so when he does I know he’s really hurting, and I give him all the love and hugs he needs.

  24. Yes, they have done so more than once because that is an entirely normal human emotional reaction and they are capable of experiencing emotions in a healthy and mature way.

    I handled it by loving them, comforting them, and being supportive.

    It had no negative impact on my relationship or view of my partner at all. It’s good to be in a relationship with someone who can both experience and regulate their emotions appropriately and who doesn’t see emotions as weakness.

  25. Yes. Most recently, my husband and I went to Jamaica for our honeymoon. While there he got COVID. Instead of flying home I stayed with him. Then I tested positive for COVID five days later. Eventually he ran out of his daily medication and other necessities. We only planned to be there for five days and it had been two weeks. Finally he tested negative. I was still positive. I told him that he should go home. He needed to work, get his meds, and get our dog. He was devastated at the thought of leaving me, especially after I stayed for him, but I insisted on him leaving. He spent the whole night crying and the next morning. It made me feel really loved and cared for that he was that upset over leaving me. The next morning when he was getting ready to leave, they tested me and I finally tested negative and was able to join him on a flight home.

  26. My partner cried “a lot” for social norms. He cried when I wanted to break up and when his bananaplant died. Before I met him I was (raised) to not show emotions but he made me softer and see his strength in the way he embraced his emotions, gotta have balls to cry. He died but I still love him (for that)

  27. I would be extremely suspicious and pretty concerned if I’d been with a partner for years and never seen them cry. Definitely a red flag for repressed emotions and likely some damaging internalized cultural beliefs about crying. I’m only interested in dating people who either have questioned that stuff already or are willing to do so.

  30. 1. My current partner has once and I was surprised because he’s very closed off emotionally. It did not change my view of the relationship at all. No change happened afterward either in terms of how I viewed him or our dynamic. When it happened, I comforted him and let him know it was ok.

    2. Ex. I had a short toxic relationship before. First few times he cried I was very supportive.. but then I realized he’d cry a lot when he wasn’t getting his way (I didn’t feel like sex, I was busy the night he wanted to hang out, I told him I wouldn’t stop talking to male presenting friends, that I didn’t want kids (even tho I was clear on this date 2), when I wouldn’t give him a 3-some after finding out I’m bi)… and I stopped reacting at all. Once I saw it was manipulation, I checked out. (I did try to communicate but he was clearly emotionally immature and not ready for a relationship)

  31. Yes, several times. It made me appreciate him more, seeing that he was capable of true emotions. Seeing that men can be sensitive. I held him, talked softly too him and told him I was right there with him and would always be there for him. I talked him through that rough time in life and now we are incredibly close. I wouldn’t have it any other way

  32. One morning my husband and I were in the kitchen with our 16 month old son on his high chair. I had just gotten out of bed, so hair in a messy bun, smudged makeup from the last night and in a bathrobe. My husband was playing some music for us and making our son some eggs. For some reason the song was so sweet and emotional for him he just started bawling his eyes out. He tried to hide it but I hugged him and he held me tight for so so long and just cried. He said he loved his little family so much and never wanted to lose this. I’ve only seen him cry a few times in our entire marriage. Made my realize that even though he is stoic and strong he really loves us and has his moments.

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