I’m considering if I want to propose to restructure our marriage in terms of finances, labor division, and childcare division. I’m also considering making it a boundary of either compromise or impasse (separation or divorce.)
Right now I’m just in the planning stage: do I want to keep up what we initially agreed upon and married in to, or do I want to possibly upset the system and suggest an overhaul. Everyone hates change, me included, and I have the feeling that I promised a certain lifestyle upon marriage, so I really need to keep “my end of the deal.”
I’m just here to read your stories, the good and the bad, just to gain perspective!
7 comments
Your post history indicates that your marriage is already a dumpster fire, what do you have to lose by attempting to “restructure” it?
Ok so there is a lot going on here. Looking through your post history is a tough read. My big question here is what power do you actually possess to propose this restructure? I am assuming you are still not financially in a position to divorce this man. I am not saying don’t try to work on your marriage and this may be the answer. I would really just hate to see this be one more crushing defeat for you because of an unequal power dynamic. I think waiting to be able to leave and improving yourself in the meantime may be your answer but by all means if you think this will improve things by even 1% you owe it to yourself to try.
Marriage is not a business to “restructure”. You cannot write an “agreement” on who does what.
Division division division…. Sounds like you’re already divorced.
Did your husband previously go through a nasty divorce or something?
What does he want? Will heaven communicate with you long enough for you to figure it out?
Marriage flexes and flows through every stage. Contributions will shift and change depending where you are at. Some many things influence, kids, jobs, moves, health. It’s not the structure that’s important. You both need to support each other, be willing to do what needs to be done, marriage is a partnership.