This all happened in March. I did the shitty move of looking through his phone and saw texts between him and his ex. This was 3 months into us dating.. they messaged each other happy birthdays and a week later he messaged her with “ I have been thinking about you a lot and how things ended between us and it feels like you left me hanging off a cliff? :(“ And she replied “I’m sorry how things ended hope your living your best life.. “ that was it! he also had her in his search history on Instagram. And plenty of pics of them on everything. They broke up in September they were together 3 years and we started dating around January.. am I stupid ? I feel like we talked everything out and I’m happy with how things are and him but I have this nagging feeling when I’m apart that’s he’s deep down not over her and using me? We see each other everyday and have made some great memories so far and met each other friends and family .. idk I don’t trust him. He said he only messaged her because he never got closure?
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I think closure is overrated and just an excuse for missing someone. If the relationship is over, then its over. You don’t need to bother the person any more and let them live their life. It sounds like he’s missing her more than she’s missing him. You need to sit him down and talk to him about boundaries. He’s in a relationship with you now, there’s no reason for him to be thinking about other people. If he can’t do that, then let him go so he can get his *closure.*