So me and this guy I’ve been seeing are both in college (19F) and (20M). We had our first date recently and he payed almost 200$ in total. We have our second date coming up and he expects me to pay my part (it’s ab $20). I understand we’re broke college kids so I was preparing to start paying for my share either on the third date or the fourth (esp since he did spend so much on the first date). But I was wondering if this should be a deal breaker cuz I’ve been taught that men should pay for dates ever since I was little.
7 comments
Why would you expect them to pay? – do you want a sugar daddy or an equal?
Everyone should pay, not only man.
That’s a super outdated mindset, in fact, that attitude is the real deal breaker.
He doesn’t owe you anything, nor you him. If you want to eat, pay for your share.
If you don’t want to pay, get a sugar daddy.
Woman here – you should pay on the second date. If you want to be equals, you should date ad equals. “I was brought up to believe XYZ” is a poor excuse to hold on to any beliefs.
If you can’t afford to pay for your own meal/ticket, you can’t afford to go on a date. Why would you expect him to keep dropping hundreds on you so early into dating? Why be so presumptuous, thinking you won’t have to chip in until later dates? While, yes, men often pay for dates, be considerate when ordering if you’re not paying the tab. The dealbreaker is you whining about $20.
You should have a think about why you were taught this, It’s quite outdated. It’s good that you were thinking of starting though.
If you can’t afford it, create a date that’s affordable, without making it “just come to mine” if you’re not comfortable with that.
There’s tons of free stuff to do, you can google some cost friendly ways to still create a nice date, that way you’ve come up with something nice to do, so you’ve contributed and you know it’s in your budget.
Why would you expect him to pay for everything, does that seem fair to you? I’m glad that you have such high self esteem that you feel your looks and personality mean everyone has to pay your share and bend over backwards for you but that’s not how the world works, I hope he has enough self respect to ditch you, this isn’t the 1920’s you need to alter your world view.