I am 37 and dating a 21 year old, and people responded by telling me that it’s not good to date someone that young because someone that young cannot consent to sex because the brain is not fully developed until age 25.
But if that’s true and someone under 25 cannot consent to sex, because the brain is not fully formed yet, then why perhaps the government and society should raise the age of consent to 25, if that’s a good point then?
What do you think? Thanks for any opinions on this. I really appreciate it!
7 comments
The better question is what do you have in common with a 21 year old?
Because the government doesn’t care scientifically about what age your brain develops and how it does not matter in society… There’s a lot more important things they don’t care about that should matter. This would be last on the list…
Personally I can agree to you that the legal age limit for certain things should be raised but that will never happen. They see 18 year olds as full blown adults suddenly when they’re not yet mentally, like you said.
Ps. this doesn’t really fall into the dating advice category at all and must get taken down most likely.
The modern age of informed consent is, to a great extent, an arbitrary limit and has shifted, over time, to reflect the way a society views its young. Not that long ago, children were working (some in heavy industry) at the age of 10 or 12. Children were often seen as a commodity or a resource and the ‘caring’ attitude we affect towards them today is very recent.
Young adults never existed until the advent of the ‘teenager’ and as a result, childhood has extended to cover the mid to late teens. Our young are remaining ‘youngsters’ for longer.
I know some 30-year-olds who are very immature. The law in many countries puts the age of consent at 18, some lower. Which is acceptable, an 18(F) with a 35(M) or a 18(M) with a 35(F)?
And, who is at fault if the younger person seeks out the older? All these scenarios are, of course, happening within the law relating to consent.
You do you man but I still think that’s kinda creepy. She might legally be an adult but at 21 she’s still basically a child and not fully developed mentally. I’ll never understand psychology. If the age of consent was 25 though then the legal system would be overwhelmed with statutory rape cases. I think it’s kinda on the adult in the situation to have good judgement. Again though, you do you.
Weird to get technical about it and straight up start about sex, while a relationship is about equality and sharing the same stage in life.
Healthy relationships are based on open and honest communication between mature consenting adults who treat each other with respect and share common interests and compatible life goals.
At 21 and 37 you’re likely to have difficulty in the areas of maturity, common interests, and compatibly, but I don’t think consent is a problem. A 21 year old can consent.
You’re both consenting adults. No laws are being broken. A 21 year old is perfectly capable of being able to consent to sex. It’s fine.