I am a 30 year old female who went on a couple dates with a 30 year old guy to hear him say that I am an awesome person, we have a lot in common, but he doesn’t feel a romantic connection. He felt more of a friend vibe. I’m obviously feeling a little down about it. Not for sure if there was anything I could’ve done to not give off the “friend vibe”.
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I think it might be the same as the other way around. Attraction is important: Keep eye contact and at some point you need to be comfortable touching each other. Otherwise it’s likely to get friendzoned.
But might also be, he just chose to let you down easy.
I’m sorry this happened to you, that’s rough. Unfortunately, sometimes the other person just doesn’t quite feel the same way. People can be rather complicated. I doubt it was anything you did though.
I’m guessing he just wasn’t attracted to you. Nothing you can do about it and don’t take it personally.
You can’t force attraction and you shouldn’t be inauthentic to attract a prospective lover.
I’ve been on the other side of this. I found him very attractive (swiped him on tinder so ticked all the boxes physically), and he was even better looking in real life, he is kind, funny and sweet and I know he would be a really great partner, but it was just missing something, and all I get are friend vibes. Its nothing he did or I did, it’s just the dynamic that exists between us 🤷🏼♀️
And its not about him being “too nice” or “too friendly” because I’ve met other people who I would describe the same way and I do feel the connection with them, it is something that can’t really be quantified or explained I guess.
It sucks, but it’s better to find out a few dates in than many years in.
Flirt.
Don’t take it personally. Keep being yourself. Chemistry is weird… I have had it with people who I otherwise wouldn’t be attracted to.
“Vibe” or “chemistry” or “connection” isn’t something you can control. You just don’t have it with everyone. You didn’t put out a “friend vibe” he just met you and didn’t feel romantic chemistry.
That has nothing to do with attractiveness, or anything else.
Have you never met a man that is perfectly pleasant and nice, but you’d have zero desire to let see you naked? I didn’t really get chemistry until I started doing dating apps, and met a few people who I couldn’t find one thing wrong with, were attractive, were nice, and within ten minutes of meeting them I was just like “Nope, it’s not there.”
It’s way worse to force a connection where there is none, and to end up in a relationship with someone who just isn’t that into you. I did that once, and I will never again. If someone says they don’t feel it, I have ZERO desire to try and make them reconsider. They deserve someone they feel a connection with, and I deserve someone who is excited about me.
This is super sensitive for many, so take this (my experience) with a grain of salt…
1. Two women I’ve been on dates with recently.
2. They are both wonderful, and I think we’re both attracted to each other.
3. They have both expressed interest in spending more time together.
4. Both of them have been pretty distant with any kind of physical contact. I’ll touch their arm or back while we’re making dinner together, or give them a hug as we part ways, and they don’t respond in kind. The hugs feel like you’re saying goodbye to a coworker or something.
5. I’ve kind of lost interest in either of them because physical affection is very important to me. I brought it up with one of the women, and she said she was usually very affectionate and would work on it, but the last date we had, she was just as distant.
So, yeah, I am NOT saying you should do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, but maybe that sometimes people are looking for more “signs” that you’re attracted and interested?
This might not be the case with your situation, for sure.
Good luck, OP!
I went to watch the sunrise with someone, We did whole loads of stuff together. She and I had a lot in common. She didn’t like me attractively but always says I am one of the most awesome dudes she has met. Sometimes you can do everything right and it can go not in your favour but it’s fine, bad things happen. You live you learn life goes on.
That just happens.
I went out with a woman last week and we had a really great time, the conversations before the date were amazing, and the date was really amazing but when we kissed it felt so weird and wrong lol.
She wanted to go out on more dates and I would have but the vibe was just not there for me.
It happens.
I know the immediate thought is attraction but thats not necessarily the case always. It could just be then interaction vibe. Idk this guys vibes but it was probably just not compatible. I wouldnt feel down about it, i dont doubt you wouldve felt similarly with time
Hey girl, I and many women have used this with guys too. It could mean they aren’t our type look wise or we just can’t explain why we can’t feel that romantic attraction/spark. No, nothing you can do.
Not sure if you ever felt that way with a guy before or not
Move on. Nothing you could do. He’s not feeling the chemistry
Take it at face value. Simple. He ain’t the one.
Don’t take it too personally if you can please – unless if things were rushed or his intentions were to just hit it and quit it, then that’s messed up on his end. And there’s definitely nothing you could’ve done to change it since if things are meant to be, they’re meant to be. As long as you were open and communicating well back and forth and made an effort, that’s all the right person needs from you. Good riddance to him and upward and onward for you to find someone better!
All this really means is that you should move on to somebody who You’re More compatible with. If he’s not feeling the connection, he’s letting you know so that she doesn’t string you along. It’s kind of like saying hey, you’re great, and I have nothing against you, but we wouldn’t work out romantically. It’s just information you can use to move on.
No there is nothing. I actually stopped dating rn because the last few dudes have been the “vibe friends” romantic connection is hard. But, it was what I was feeling nothing to do with them. I also think I am burnt out from looking as well so maybe I am blocking myself. But I can legit tell you it really isn’t you. Some people you have a instant connection and some people you feel that friend vibe. It just kinda happens. You both have to be in the same mind set for it to happen and sync up. But don’t let it make you down. I know from experience when people you like don’t choose you it can be hard. But they have reasons and you have to let it be.
Basically he’s not into you
My best guess was he really like your personality, but he wasn’t physically attracted to you.
This was him being polite. He either wasn’t attracted to you in person or he just doesn’t want to date you.
30 F. Been there. Met some fantastic people in dating but didn’t have attraction to them for reasons even I couldn’t explain. Maybe that person subconsciously reminds you of someone else in your family. Maybe they had a teacher or a friend that looked or behaved like you. Maybe there was even an ex that you reminded him of. Don’t take it personally.
I got the same response from my last date.
At the end of our 3rd date, we made out and it felt good, we both liked it a lot.
Before our 5th date, I started to notice she became very unresponsive with our text messages. So I already expected that she started to lose interest.
She told me on our 5th date that she felt like we were becoming great friends and she does not feel that romantic connection when she gets home.
I asked her if I did something wrong because I was very confused as we both enjoyed the physical touching and kissing and I felt the chemistry.
She said that I did nothing wrong, I am a great and sweet guy. (I would be a millionaire by now if I got $5 from hearing that)
Anyway, I just laughed it off, cracked a few jokes and we parted ways.
My brain went into overdrive and started to analyze every conversation or moment where we made out and tried to figure out what did I do wrong.
Could I have done something more to increase the feelings or did I play it too safe. I did not push or hinted that I wanted sex, I pretty much used the time we had to get to know her.
It will drive you crazy, best is to accept it and move on. If someone does not have that connection then they just do not have it.
It’s easy to say “don’t take it personally” but really hard to internalize it. But seriously, there’s a good chance this truly has nothing to do with you. He could be hung up on an ex, overwhelmed at work, changed his mind about wanting to date right now, having health issues, or considering moving away. Maybe you look a lot like his mom and he thought he could get past it but then realized it was too weird- who the hell knows. Bottom line is YOU are awesome and the right guy at the right time will stick around. Hang in there 💋
No. It’s merely a compatibility thing. He just wasn’t feeling it between you 2. You didn’t do anything wrong and there’s nothing you could have done. It just wasn’t the right person.
It’s easy to forget that an attraction to someone is not always reciprocated, but again, it wasn’t you! Just not the right match is all.