As women, we often talk about wanting to date men who are gentlemen and chivalrous. As men, what trait or gestures would you like to see in a woman you are dating?

41 comments

1. Independence

2. I don’t like the empowered slut type, I like decent normal ones

3. Good work ethic and common sense.

4. A girl I’m dating sends me texts or calls me wishing me a good day at work

   >!That shit is hot!<

5. Reciprocity

6. 1. Accountability for themselves and their actions
   2. Having a good value system based on solid self-esteem

7. Loyalty and honesty with no game playing. If I begin talking to a woman and she starts trying to make me jealous with other guys, I am Gone like the wind. I dont want to be with someone that tortures me to stimulate their mentally ill mind.

8. Kindness

9. Not always wanting to post so much on social media… “I’m on a date with gorgeous man” etc… being happy that a date could be just walking through town, looking in the markets, having chips and a cuppa from there too… why spend £££ when on my local market, that can be had for less than a fiver… yes, nice food a restaurant is very nice, but a cheap meal is sweet n cute too.
   Not everything is about how much spend, but how careful can be with money.

10. Clear communication, reciprocity, defined boundaries, and a willingness to both see my side of things and to call me out if I get too wrapped up in my own thoughts.

    I don’t expect perfection, though. And I’ll admit I’m not perfect.

11. Stable mentally with a source of income and a very dark sense of humour honest with some degree of integrity

12. someone who can be a good mother and wife… but is also independent enough that they dont rely on mommy and daddy for everything anymore

13. Self propelled flight and limited invulnerability. Gets me going so hard.

14. Shes capable of self questioning, she loves sex, she is confident and has à life.

15. Actively participating in my & our sexual pleasure. Actively participating in the success of our partnership.

16. I honestly don’t care. Just don’t be cruel and malicious to other people, that’s all I ask.

17. I don’t really date but a fun ,kind ,well mannered woman is always nice to have

18. Slutty, but loyal nerd

19. Woman who can say : “Sorry, my it was my fault.” and actually mean it.

20. I like a woman who makes me laugh. Fortunately, I find lots of things funny.

21. Honestly i just want someone who accepts who i am, loves me for my good sides and helps me improve on my flaws
    Someone who will make me feel better when I’m sad and will share my excitement and happiness
    Someone who’s there for me as much as i am there for them

22. Femininity, sweet and kind.

23. I think the best way I can say it is I want a woman who doesn’t need me. If she is independent and is with me anyways, it’s because she wants to be.

24. Independence and confidence are the traits I looked for (and found) in my wife of 15 years and going strong. Also, must love animals.

25. Honesty, humor, intelligence, courage, kindness, curiosity, a healthy dose of ambition.

26. 1: No playing “hard to catch”, be honest about your feelings and intentions.
    2: Financial equality. If you expect me to pay everything and provide for you to stay at home you’re in the wrong century. I’m a gentleman through and through, but I still expect you to pull your own weight normally (ofcourse I would support a sick SO in every way I can).
    3: Dare to discuss with me, have your own opinion on things and be okay with that we don’t nessecarily have to agree on everything.
    4: If you feel attraction, show it, don’t expect me to do all the courting.

    All of the above goes way beyond the dating phase as well, but it all starts there. 🙂

27. Femininity.

28. Courtesy, kindness, empathy

29. Funny, kind and cute.

30. Funny, smart, independent, caring, honest.

31. Kindness, effort, and accountability.

32. The absence of misandry and the presence of femininity.

33. be ethical and level-headed

    Everything doesn’t have to be emotional. Not everything is about feelings. Sometimes life will be mundane. Not everyone is out to get you. She’s not jealous of you. He’s not hitting on you. Sometimes you’re going to be invisible when you walk down the aisle at the grocery store. You’re not always going to be the center of attention. Don’t create a story where you are the center of attention.

34. Women who don’t complain about their exes or past bad experiences with men.

35. She’s got to be smart and have good grammar. When someone writes “m gud r u 2” in a text, it makes my dick limp.

    She has to be independent. If we wind up together long term, and something happens to me, she’s got to be able to support us.

    She has to be kind. Sweet. I love when a woman does something thoughtful. Once, my girlfriend brought me cupcakes “just because” from a local bakery, and they were all my favorites, and I still think about those stupid cupcakes.

36. Appreciation, gratitude and supportive

37. no goal of abuse, caring, true love from bottom of heart, no playing stupid games like pretending that she doesn’t want to be with me to force me to beg her so the she feels like a queen, or as another user put it making you jealous of others and such, basically playing stupid games is what we guys usually call it, and lastly being straightforward and fully honest, i personally really care about lies, i haven’t lied once in like over a decade maybe, and i expect my partner to do the same, not like my ex which above abuse, also lied to me about exactly and precisely everything for 4 years.

38. Not dismissing our emotions, or demasculating us for having them would be nice. That and not playing mind games which is extremely rare for my generation.

39. Amazing listener. Listens with ears open, mouth closed like most folks do not.

40. Why are we still talking about antiquated, gendered value systems like Chivalry, which are based upon premodern ideals of men as protectors and woman as weak??

    Fuck that. I really value equality, as well as strong, independent women. I value women who can step beyond the gendered expectations. Women who aren’t afraid be themselves, even if that means bucking gender roles.

    Dating should be about mutual support. Men are not bastions of strength, we’re humans. Chivalry puts unrealistic emotional expectations on men. Men shouldn’t be doing the heavy lifting alone, emotional or physically. It’s a team effort.

    Chivalry is incompatible with the egalitarian values that form healthy, equal, relaionships.

41. FBI. Feminine, Beautiful, Inspirational.

    Those are almost umbrella terms as being each of those things require other features.

    Feminine should involve not being combative, Beautiful should involve being fit, Inspirational should involve respect.