I’ve been having sex with my girlfriend for about 9 months, and throughout this period of time she hasn’t orgasmed. We’ve had conversations relating to this and she says that she doesn’t care whether or not she has one. I want to be able to give her an orgasm because I think that it’s unexplored territory that would improve our sex life, and also because it affects my self esteem.
However, by the time I finish, she’s too sore to keep going. When we’re doing foreplay, she makes me stop whatever I’m doing (fingering, oral) to begin PIV sex when she gets close to orgasm because she’s either concerned she might be too tired out/sensitive to do anything afterwards or is aroused to the point where she wants PIV sex.
During PIV sex, I want to be able to stimulate her clit but because it’s kind of hard to maintain a rhythmic motion while also using one of my hands to stimulate her it can be quite hard. Along with that, she says that the feeling on her clit is very strong (to the point she can’t really feel me inside of her) and that when we have sex, she strongly prefers the feeling of dick in her than clit stimulation.
In a situation where I’m about to/or having sex with her, what is the best way and time for me to approach her about helping her finish?
7 comments
Can she make herself orgasm?
Many women do not orgasm with piv. Find how it works for her.
I remember I explored the cowgirl position on my bf and them accidentally found perfect pace and angle and everything and then I was able to orgasm. Also in missionary I can orgasm only when I do my part as well. It’s kind of when my bf thrusts into me (not too strong and not too fast tho, kinda slow and steady and sexy) I ALSO move my pelvis towards him. Feels very good. But it’s kinda going to be difficult if she herself doesn’t want to explore the possibility of orgasm. Maybe she is shy? Maybe she neglects her pleasure because doesn’t want to be a bad gf? It happens actual rather often to women at such young age.
Also with the missionary thing it took me looong time to learn it!
And if the case is that she’s shy and neglects her pleasure then you gotta very much encourage her and show here that you want her to guide you!! Like be very persistent with that support but not too pushy. Like let her know that you want her to feel good and are committed to it lol
I’ve found that making your partner orgasm before PIV can make it more pleasurable for both of you. The best advice I can give about physically making her orgasm is take things slow, wether licking or rubbing the clitoris she has to “climb the mountain.” So start gently and as she warms up to it you can speed up or get more intense. When PIV the same applies start with slow strokes and get into a position that you can comfortably rub her clit and stroke. Also consider for women sex is a much more mental thing so she may need more verbal/mental foreplay before actually getting down to clitoral stimulation. Hope that helps 👍🏻
Vibrator. Be gentle. Ask her how she makes herself orgasm.
Use a good silicone based lube like Exxtreme Glide Silicone, Pjur Backdoor, Uberlube… to get the comfort back.
Try new positions to stimulate 2 or more of her 3 pleasure centers at once (clitoris, g-spot and fornix).
Prone Bone is a good start, just like scissors…
You can also search for Kenneth Play on Pornhub and watch some instructional videos.
Many women don’t have an orgasm one way and it takes many things to get there. If she can make herself orgasm ask her how she likes it and what gets her there and that may help you to be able to achieve it. Personally I can’t get there by just clit stimulation and I need many facets of stimulation to achieve it.
not everyone becomes sexually active this young unfortuneately