Hey everyone
I just don’t understand why I get this way. Right now I’m feeling so stressed my body is aching I have a headache and I can’t sleep. All because of something REALLY silly which I know but I can’t help it
So a small backstory. Two years ago I went through a really really horrible situation (both social and just in general) when my gf of 3 years who I met in work broke up with me and not only that, spread rumours that I was seeing someone else in our workplace.
This ended up making pretty much all my friends who’d I’d made and worked so hard on making in work turn against me. It was a her vs me situation and EVEN THOUGH the girl in question denied it and everyone found out I was telling the truth, the damage had been done and all the crap people were saying about who I was as a person and “how they never liked me” still hurt and they refused to still talk to me
It was so awkward in work and I ended up leaving and getting a new job
So fast forward two years, nobody in that place has ever apologised for the way they treated me or whatever. I literally packed up and left and didn’t talk to people I thought loved me
Now after two years of reflection and being in therapy cos it has wrecked my trust in ppl, she suggested I might be overreacting about how they “all” hate me.
So on insta there’s this one dude who was a mutual friend and one of the people in my work. He had always been the nicest and even though never stayed my friend, never said anything bad about me.
He posted last night a really cute photo of a new dog he got which is the same breed I have. Everyone knows it’s quite rare and that I used to always show my dog off.
So in a random moment I decided to like and comment on it and ask “What did you name her?” Because he didn’t say. And this was my first interaction with anyone from there in years
Now, here is where something weird happened. I noticed every other comment on the post was by everyone in my work including my ex who I hadn’t obviously spoke to for two years. I felt sick that my comment was sitting there. And then he responded to EVERYONE, and I mean everyone except mine. He didn’t even heart my comment.
And right underneath my comment some guy who I had considered really close friends at the time commented so he obviously saw my lone and ignored comment
This has hurt me for two reasons
1) why are people still treating ME like the villain when it’s been two years and this was me reaching out to try and maybe prove myself wrong that it wasn’t such a “everyone against me” moment, especially when I was being super nice???
2) I’m hurt at myself for even bothering because I’ve worked so hard on blocking out this trauma from this past place and now I look like an idiot for trying to “join in “ and everyone can see me getting ignored.
It just has brought all the pain back of that time but more than that, humiliation. Because at least before I looked like I had walked away and moved on and didn’t care.
Why am I letting myself get worked up over this and do I have a reason to be upset? I don’t know what to do but it’s honestly affecting me so much and I don’t know why because I don’t understand why people treat me this way, you’d think after all this time people would have remorse and feel a bit bad about what they’d done to me. I want to kick myself for trying to be the better person but what is wrong with me that it’s affected me so much that I keep crying and can’t sleep? Just knowing that it’s sitting there and everyone can see it. I just feel so upset.
2 comments
Damn. That’s a super tough read, I’m sorry that’s been happening to you. I can’t answer #1, IDK why some people are the way they are. But let that be a reflection of them and their pettiness and inability to have open, honest communication, not a reflection on you. As to #2, honestly, don’t even worry about it. Peeps like that aren’t worth your energy. Spend that energy finding a new social circle.
“you’d think after all this time people would have remorse” – no I wouldn’t. Well, at least not THEM. Some people, yes. Some people, no. Some people are just selfish and petty. There’s nothing you can do to change that, and no matter how important it may feel to seek for their approval or attention, the best you can do is move on and find better people.
Remember: Your self worth comes from things YOU have done. Challenges YOU have faced and battled. Things that YOU have worked to develop or overcome. Not from the approval or attention of petty people.
I am really sorry to hear that you’ve been and are still treated like these from these people.
I used to get ignored in high school from certain people for no particular reason so when I finished school I unfriended everyone so I won’t have to deal with seeing them online either. I guess this is not the solution here since you believed that at least the guy with the new dog would be different and wouldn’t side with them.
As someone else said, petty people will be petty, so if I were you I would prioritize my mental health and wellbeing instead of hope for a silver lining with them.
Put yourself first.
You are stressing yourself sleepless over them. When the rumors started it was pretty easy for them to ostracize you, so why should you be the one burdened with the shame of their childish behavior?