I (45F) do not have a close relationship to my mom. She constantly critises me in literally every aspect of my life. She lives 7 hours away and I only see her once or twice a year. She wants to come visit this weekend as her friend is going through a neighboring town and asked to catch a ride so she doesn’t need to use her own vehichle or gas money. She asked if I could pick her up/take her back and drive another 3 hrs to visit family. They are all working this weekend. My daughter will also be gone this weekend so she won’t see her either. I only have 1 vehichle and she said if I don’t want to take her she will just take my car. I have other plans this weekend but I know if I tell her she will blow up at me because she hardly comes out. I don’t know what to do.
**TL/DR I’m conflicted – on one hand she is my mom, I rarely see her, but on the other hand it’s a poor weekend as everyone is busy. Any advise would be appreciated.
4 comments
She is not entitled to anything. Read that again.
She is overstepping, and you need to put a stop to it. Her plans are her problem to figure out. Tell her you have plans. Do not explain. Do not offer some compromise. Tell her again you have plans and you’re sure she will figure something out. Hang up on her if you have to. Anyone who respects you would stop at that point.
Tell her this situation doesn’t work for you so no you cannot drive her not can she take your car. Period. That’s it.
You tell her this isnt a good weekend, you wont be around, your daughter wont be around, so she can come however she cant not expect anything from you, as you wont be here.
Tell her its a hard no, if her friend is bringing her here, then she should expect her friend to bring her back or have a plan to get back that doesnt involve you.
If she doesnt like it, theres no need to respond if you dont want.
Let her blow up. You don’t have to listen to her or read her messages. She can sit in her house blowing up by herself while you’re getting on with your own life that doesn’t revolve around her.