Hello,
I’ve been in a long distance relationship with F/18 as of 3 months ago and I got the chance to meet her in person for two weeks because my dad went to a business trip that happened to be very near her place of residence. Everything’s great, we cuddle, go on dates, make out, everything’s a dream.. except, for some reason, I cannot hold a hard on.
For context, I’m a virgin. And we’ve tried everything, she tried stroking it and even sucking on it and it got hard the first few minutes and then went softer and softer over time. I find her insanely attractive, she’s just my type and everything and it’s not that I subconsciously don’t think she looks good because I know for a fact that I love how she looks. And every time it happens she holds me and tells me it’s okay and that she doesn’t just want me for my dick but I do want to make it happen at least once on this trip because who knows when we’ll see each other again.
I’ve narrowed it down to I think two possible options;
One – I overthink it. Whenever I get hard, when she uses her mouth on it for example, it feels really nice and it gives me an erection quickly, and I go “Yes, finally, it’s working.” mentally.. aaaaand it’s gone in the next minute. Whenever I consciously notice that I am having a hard on it goes away. Now, one might say, “just don’t think about it lol” but I don’t know how to banish a thought like that from my head, and I’d appreciate some advice.
Two – As ashamed as I am to admit it, before we got together i used to be into really out-of-the-ordinary pornography, like we’re talking tentacle hentai, gore, physical abuse, and other unrealistic things. I quit that kind of thing as soon as we got together because it didn’t feel right to be into it anymore, but now it leaves me wondering if I’ve ruined my sex drive for “vanilla” things by having fed myself such content for years on end, and if it’ll ever come back.. Is this a thing?
Please advise, I really appreciate any assistance-
M/19
4 comments
Or maybe you are not into girls, have you ever experienced with a guy ?
My vote is performance anxiety. I’ve been with several virgins before, it’s very common. Your body only recognizes you as a source of sexual gratification. Stop jerking it, stop watching porn, and it will revert to its natural state. I’m not sure that will happen on a time frame though. And worrying about the time limit will also make you go down. She seems very sweet and patient, so this is a good opportunity to practice, learn things about each other, and plan another trip in the future.
So couple of things:
– Ignore your dick but keep having sex for awhile. Don’t jack off. Just be horny and take care of your partner. They don’t get to touch either. Your dick will likely come back.
– Grab some cock rings, and you can put one on before sex.
– If you watch porn, start watching (preferably female produced if it’s straight) the kind that mirrors the sex you’ll be having.
Good luck. Dicks are tinkerbells, staying out of your head by focusing elsewhere intensely helps!
Don’t try to “not think about it”. Aknowelege you will remember that being hard isn’t gonna last, but just don’t focus on that. Maybe you can try by having fun with her without penetration, like eating her out and stuff like that will like you, and if you didn’t try to forget your problem, so instead you will keep it in your mind but focus more on the important stuff, ironically you will end up forgetting it. Also, porn can cause that kind of stuff.