About 3 years ago, my then-girlfriend and I broke up. We dated for 2.5 years. When we broke up, I couldn’t find anyone else attractive. When I did find someone attractive, it was usually because that person reminded me of my ex-girlfriend.
I’m embarrassed to say this, and I’m not trying to be conceited at all, but I’ve never had trouble dating women. This is just to say that after my breakup I went on plenty of dates, but I didn’t feel like I could give myself to a woman emotionally, so I didn’t progress things very far (and told them this right away).
Anyway, having sex wasn’t much of an issue (as far as erectile issues) but getting in the mood was DEFINITELY an issue. Also, the desire to masturbate was DEFINITELY an issue.
The issue of my sex drive has stayed with me since then. I really miss my sex drive and I miss being excited about masturbation.
I don’t know what to do.
This is happening in my early-mid 30s, and while I understand my sex drive can diminish, this change seemed to have happened immediately after the breakup.
Since then, I’ve gone to the doctor and been told that my testosterone is very low. (It didn’t use to be)
NOTE: I do take antidepressants (Sertraline) – although this was never an issue in the past.
NOTE: (Important?)
I have become best friends with another woman since my breakup and we currently live together. At the beginning of our friendship, we did have sex sometimes, but it soon turned to a non-sexual relationship.
She did/does tell me that she’d like to be in a romantic relationship if I would, but she doesn’t say it much anymore and a platonic relationship is established.
I do sometimes wonder if guilt or even possible resentment is at work here? Could this affect my sex drive?
I know there is a lot to unpack here, but if anyone could help with suggestions regarding my sex drive, or possible reasons for it, I would be so very grateful.
Thank you 🙏