I’m 27 and recently made it farther than I ever have with a woman. We seem like an almost perfect match, we’ve been talking for a month and been on 5 dates or so. She took my virginity, she’s my first kiss, first woman I’ve ever been on more than one date with. I know what you’re thinking probably but I’m trying to pace myself as is she. Things feel natural.
I’m ecstatic and she reciprocates everything, as do I. Video chatting and calling everyday and texting. Conversation is easy and flows well and silence seems very comfortable.
At the same time I find myself at work in my head constantly reassuring myself and going over things she’s said or done that prove she likes me.
How do I stop doing this? I don’t obsess over her of course but I do think about her a lot and she knows because we text throughout the day.
Maybe it’s because all of this is new to me. I just have to maybe settle into it?
2 comments
To some extent, it’s natural to analyze things like this. But it can become a problem if you start asking the other person for reassurance. In other words, don’t let it affect your interactions, don’t resort to spying, and don’t assume something bad just because you may be missing info. If you start doing those things, that’s a problem. If it starts affecting you too much, consider therapy.
This is probably a sign of self esteem issues, that you don’t truly believe you deserve this woman. It sounds like her behaviour isn’t causing you to question the validity of this relationship, but it’s your own mind that is sabotaging you. Keep working through these thoughts, maybe speak about them with a trusted friend so you can get some external feedback and advice on how to overcome your self doubt. If this is your first relationship, then these feelings can be quite expected and normal to an extent. But learn not to obsess over them, and enjoy things for what they are. As you said, it seems obvious enough that she likes you.