I dunno, I go on social media, and I see friends having photos of doing things like traveling, snowmobiling, surfing, zip-lining, skydiving, being on boats, etc. etc. I feel like all those fun experiences are things that have never been available to me.
Grew up poor, so of course we never had “vacations.” Now I’m an adult with student loans, so I still don’t have the means to do shit like backpacking through Europe and Asia or whatever it is rich kids got to do to “find themselves.” Never traveled outside of my country.
Because I’ve never been able to travel, I’ve also never been able to try certain things that I can’t do here, like surfing or whatever.
I don’t know how to go about accessing the opportunities to do these things.
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You sound a lot like me. For me it’s given me the the cool perk to not fear death because I rationalize that I never really lived.
Strip off all your clothes and run around the town square with your dick n balls proudly flapping in the wind.
That way you won’t feel like a boring person, and you’ll be able to tell your friends you’re on a list somewhere.
Try cheaper weekend trips just to get out once in a while. Maybe save a little at a time to go do 1 activity
Or a cheap activity like a weekend camping trip? see if there’s any domestic deals? I remember going off-season to Portugal and it was cheaper than going to NYC..my roundtrip ticket was $350. Just because some experiences look expensive doesn’t mean it was expensive.
>I dunno, I go on social media…
There’s your answer. Get off social media and do things YOU enjoy.
First things first, you should probably delete or at least limit social media if it’s making you feel that way. Social media is a facade. People want to show their best lives. No one is really doing all those things 24/7 with how busy our lives are.
You are never truly “boring” unless you have absolutely no hobbies or no interests. You don’t have to particularly be good at anything. Just be interested in something and explore it.
I don’t travel much at all. But I read, I workout, and I play with my dog. Maybe that’s boring to some people but each of these things fulfill me in some way
I always recommend that people delete social media. For me personally, it’s definitely a net negative. I actually travel pretty frequently but going on social media gets me depressed.
Just make sure you still keep in contact and see the people you care about.
First, keep in mind that social media is (usually) a curated display of people’s high points. You don’t see the 51 weeks they spent working the shipping dock in a boring suburb, you only see the one week they spent in Spain.
Second, and probably more obvious, go do some things. Doesn’t have to be an extravagant three week excursion to the remote temples of Bangladesh, just go spend a couple days hiking or hitting up some tourist shit in a nearby place you’ve never been to.
If you’re in America there’s no shame in “never leaving the country” – America is vast and diverse and you’d need several lifetimes to see it all.
First step I suggest is getting off social media. Comparing your life to others is never going to be a good thing for you.
I wouldn’t set lofty goals for yourself like “backpack across Europe”. Start small with something like “look up local attractions and go to one”. Make it a habit to try new things and focus on what you’re doing. I think it will take a mindset shift to break yourself out of the “I’m boring and other people aren’t” mentality and into the mindset of focusing on living in the moment.
Do things. Not everything is expensive. Open mic nights, concerts, burlesque shows, whatever. Get out in your community.
Everything you see on social media is BS. When I was in my late 20s I felt the same way. What I came to realize is that most of those people went to college, got BS degrees and moved back with their parents. They worked BS jobs but had minimal bills and all took lavish vacations and had brand new cars. In the meantime I was driving a ten year old truck but I had a tech school education that got me a decent wage. I bought a house and a rental property. I don’t go on any other social media but I go back to the town I grew up in once or twice a year and it’s still the same sad people living the same sad lives.
First, always remember that social media is typically a carefully curated version of their life. You see what they play up.
Second, make experiences a priority over things (assuming you haven’t already). Eat in more. Drive an older car or take transit. Focus on saving money for something more valuable to you that happens later.
Third, find lower cost experiences. This might mean camping vs hotels. Travel during shoulder seasons. Join a club. Shorter local trips with less than top of the line equipment.
Fourth, find your passion. Whatever that is. Figure out how that can best in with your life. Don’t care if others think it is exciting — do you. That might mean volunteering in the community. Or it might mean SCA. Or it might mean rock climbing. Or it might mean writing or photography. Or it might mean BASE jumping. Or it could be having a family. What makes you happy and fulfilled. It can be relaxing or terrifying.
Yes, you can travel across Asia staying awesome hotels and eating gourmet food for an entire summer. If you have big money. But you can also do hostels for two weeks in a low cost country. Consider getting a credit card that earns miles. Find a friend or club that does local road trips.
I think a better question to ask is why do you feel like your interests have to be impressive to others?
I am sure a lot of people would think I am boring, and maybe I am but that is the way I like it, I have my interests and if others don’t find it that interesting…their loss.
I mean if you are genuinely curious about doing the things you see posted online then yeah pursue those things…but I don’t think you should force yourself to do things that you don’t really have much enthusiasm for just to seem more interesting to others.
First, try not to compare to other people. Everyone has its own journey. Plus those people only post the positive side of their live, for sure they have problems and maybe even bigger than yours.
Social media is a toxic wasteland. Plenty of studies have shown that it has a negative influence on the mind (envy, depression, anxiety, etc.).
You’re not the only that has grown up poor or the only one that has student loans and it’s not only rich kids that backpack through Europe (though I’m sure there are plenty). Excuses will only keep you from what you want.
It’s where you are mentally that’s keeping you from experiencing life. I thought I’d never be able to see the Grand Canyon, but I realized that I will die some day and I need to do what I’ve wanted – $500 and 1 week is all it took for me to experience it… that’s it! If you want it bad enough you will find a way. Good luck and, remember, you will die some day… enjoy life while you still have it. 🙏☯️
34, never saw a sea irl(landlocked country) and went only to two countries, which are neighboring my country.
Don’t go on social media
Get off social media! If you can’t, limit yourself to like an hour a day. Once you’ve detoxed and aren’t thinking about what other people are doing, time to think about what it is you would like to do if you weren’t going to brag on social media. No use getting jealous watching someone hike the Appalachian Trail if your dream is to surf the Big Island.
Then see if you can’t put a little money away regularly. See what the thing you want to do costs and start squirreling money away. And in the meantime, work on that thing. So you can’t practice by surfing the Big Island, but you might find someplace nearby with enough waves [or whatever] that you can stand up on the board.
Can’t stress this enough, delete those social media accounts if you find yourself comparing. Sitting there sulking and comparing yourself to others will never help. Also, you have to find those options by getting out and finding them instead of being on social media all the time.
I had a spine injury 6 years ago, uninsured, no coverage of any kind, so I became dirt poor in a split second. It took 4 years to get coverage, and still I get very little cash to myself every month. I do fishing and hiking, which once you get some equipment, it’s the cost of gas and that’s it. I got into painting and gardening, and learning all kinds of new things with all this time off. Now everyone I know talks about how interesting of a life I live and the cool adventures I go on, meanwhile I haven’t gone outside of a 200 km radius of where I live since before the injury. I’m dirt poor and have limited mobility and I have great adventures. I don’t send pics to everyone or compare though, I just go and live life to the fullest and tell people when they ask about it.
On your next vacation leave the country. Something cheap like Canada or Hong Kong.
If you can’t afford that. Go to Moab Utah. There’s two or three amazing parks within a few hours drive. And they happen to be some of the most beautiful places in the US.
tldr: You don’t always have to travel. You can always pick up hobbies or goals that are local or right in your own livingroom.”
bro if those Images on Facebook interest you, save it up and plan it out. those elaborate trips, even if it’s zip lining a few hundred miles over, took 6 to 12 months of planning and just as long to save up.
you don’t have to emulate short term trips online to experience life.
there’s also long-term goals that people try to accomplish. Traveling is considered a short term goal because you just go for a period and then you return.
Long time goals can include learning an instrument, getting certified in something that keeps your interest, even if you never use it for money, like getting certified in auto mechanics, even though you never plan to work at a garage, woodworking, fitness, pick up a BMX bike, or a skateboard, set up a garden in the backyard, tend to that garden and harvest that shit. build furniture, learn how to use acrylics, write a play, or a comic book, or a novel, or a memoir, or a book for your future child to have when they turn 18 etc.
A lot of these things just cost a little bit of money upfront or no money depending on the direction you go. But they still require some level of commitment that takes months or even years to discipline yourself. these things are also a part of experiencing life, yourself, and the world.
you have to start with step one, Which is picking one thing that you’re interested in pursuing. step two is to decide what you need to do to get there. step two will require pen and paper
Honestly buddy I’m in the exact same boat. Grew up in poverty as a child, live in (relative) poverty as an adult. I don’t have any advice for you, except to find cheap hobbies where you can go balls-to-the-wall. Mine’s writing and martial arts, though unfortunately since I am poor I can’t exactly get out and share those experiences with other people. Guess God knew what he was doing when he made me an introvert.
I been firefighting, emt, military with EKIA counts and security. I still feel like a boring fucking loser everyday.