What did your mother do that was a make or break in your relationship with her?

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1. Told me I was going to hell on my grandfather’s deathbed while I was saying my goodbye. To be fair she didn’t explicitly say it. My grandmother was saying to him I would see him again in heaven one day and my mother corrected her.

2. She walked away from me when we were scattering my Grandads ashes and did it without me. Haven’t spoken to her since.

3. “maybe you just aren’t meant to get married and have kids, its probably not in Gods plan for you”

   Said to me shortly after my last break up in their fundy church. I was 26 and feeling panicky about the fact that this tiny church of less than 1000 members (worldwide) had no potential partners in it for me.

   I left the church. Met a non-believer who is far better than any righteous man i met in this group, we’ve been together 2 years, and my mom and dad no longer speak to me.

4. Stole money from me, among many other things growing up

5. – Getting angry every time I would tell her the truth about a specific problem or situation… despite her telling me she wouldn’t get mad.
   – Force me to do things I was not interested in
   – Control my finances until I finally left home in my twenties
   – prioritize others needs over mine (made me into a huge people pleaser unable to enforce proper boundaries)
   – Focusing on me since she doesn’t have any friendships

   Now I’ve cut her off and she keeps trying to make me feel guilty about it

6. My mom NEVER repeated anything I ever told her or opened up to her about, she never used my feelings against me so I trust her with anything. She’s always on my side but will give me her honest opinion if I am in the wrong about something without any judgement. It makes me trust her and run to her for anything I need which is the reason why we have such a great relationship and she is my #1 confidant.

7. I lost contact with my parents after they threw me out at 17 and reconnected when I was stable and had my life mostly together when I was 19.

   She was ready to have a relationship on my terms, which included being fully accepting that I’m a lesbian and I have a girlfriend and that I make choices regarding my body and lifestyle that she doesn’t get to comment on. She took the deal and we got close again, figured out how to have an adult relationship.

   We get along but she likes my gf more than me 😂

   Also she’s flown out to come see her grandbabies a few times, it’s a long journey but I’ve really liked having her here. She came right after they were born and helped me out, gave some great advice, gave me lots of hugs and the ability to get some rest (I almost died while giving birth and lost a lot of blood so I was kinda sleepy a lot).