So i’ve got a lot of responses/advice on reddit and i’d like to thank you all. However my last post was blocked due to comments limit and i feel like i need to provide a bit more background.
I am 29(f) husband is 36(m). So i did confront him about it yesterday and this is what he said. He says he has never cheated on me and does not intent to cheat either. He says he’s been to strip clubs in the past 5 years but not like he’s actively going their, he goes once in a while if a bunch of his friends are out and about and give him a call.
As for the escort list he just said he went to get his tire changed, the place was busy so he ended up meeting his friend, filling gas buying some food and came home. He still hasn’t clearly answered what that escort list from leolist was doing in his gallery. I did take his phone and could not see that list anymore so he said he deleted it. He is part of several whatsapp groups where the guy friends share nudity related posts etc, one friend is particular has girls that come over to his place , strippers i guess? That are naked and dance around.
9 comments
You know he cleaned his phone before he let you see it because the list is gone. You have no idea what else he deleted before he let you look.
Deleting that list is messed up and now u just need to assume the worst and figure out if you can deal with that. He’s put you in a really shitty position to just sit and imagine the various scenarios but it can’t be innocent or clearly explained away if he felt the need to delete it.
The trust in your relationship is broken. You need to see a marriage counselor.
He’s a cheater and a liar who thinks you’re stupid enough to fall for some incredibly silly excuses. The only question for you is how long you want to waste with someone who clearly doesn’t respect you or your relationship.
I know you want to give him the benefit of the doubt because you love him. You want to see good in him because believing he could be involved with escorts and lying about it means he isn’t who you thought he was. It means the death of the good man you believed him to be, the man you loved. That is hard. I’ve been there.
For me it was a WhatsApp message notification that I happened to see from a female calling him Daddy and asking to borrow money. He of course lied with a semi convincing story. I knew what the message looked like and how unlikely his story was.
But I did not want to believe that the man I loved could be the kind of person who would do that. So I buried it.
Oh boy do I regret giving him more of my time. I stayed and 7 months later saw emails he sent to escorts on escort sites, saw the profile of the one who’d called him Daddy that he’d lied about. He admitted he’d lied. I left.
Sometimes people who say they love you every day can be lying to your face. It sucks. But you will get through it.
Don’t believe for one second his BS. Deleting the evidence is a big sign of deception. If he had nothing to hide he would have shown you the message his friend supposedly sent him. He didn’t do that because he can’t. If he was innocent and loved you, he’d show you the proof of his innocent. He didn’t because he can’t.
Sounds like he (and his friends) like hookers.
He still won’t answer the escort question directly- we’ll if you are happy then ignorance is bliss. His friend has a strong influence on him. Birds of a feather generally flock together.
He’s cheating. Most men that go to strip clubs just tell their wives . He deleted everything off his phone before he let you look at it. Please don’t be that stupid he could give you an S.T.D that could effect you for the rest of your life.
If he got that list in his photo folder from a WhatsApp message from his friend, then he can show you the original message so you can understand why his friend sent him this escorts list. If he says it’s been deleted or he can’t find it anymore, that’s 99% bullshit. If he has no valid explanation with proof, then trust is broken. It’s up to you if you want an open relationship or to doubt all the time.