Should I tell my fwb I’m gonna have sex with someone else?

12 comments

1. Look, your FWB doesn’t have the right to say who you can and can’t sleep with. That’s not a thing. If he wants commitment he needs to commit. HOWEVER, he does have the right to know you’re sleeping with other people. Not who, why, when or how but that you are so he can choose how to protect himself from STD’s etc.

2. He’s your friends with benefits not your boyfriend. You only have to tell him if you want to unless those rules were established before hand. With my old FWB we had a rule I was only sleeping with him and he was only sleeping with me. If you wanted someone else you had to tell the other person first so they had the right to terminate things if they want or so everyone can be tested and stay clean.

3. FWB means no strings. You don’t need to explain yourself. He has no right to know.

4. He doesn’t “have a right” to know everything or anything about your sex life unless you grant him that.

   Did you two establish a mutually exclusive friends with benefits? Does he know he’s a fwb?

   “He’s been thinking there’s a spark there when there’s not.”
   Time to define the relationship.

   You need to establish what your relationship is to him (sex with nothing else attached) and what your expectations/boundaries are. If he thinks there’s something going on that you’re not feeling, you need to set him straight so he can make an informed decision on what wants/needs to do.

5. FWB is like a side piece. As long as you practice safe sex and don’t infect them with any STDs then there is nothing to talk about.

   Screw who you want. If he gets jealous, then he is violating the cardinal rule of FWB… Don’t catch feelings.

6. If he already paid the two goats dowry price then you must tell him

7. Why, your only FWB. If it eas a full relationship or something them maybe I could see but not for just FWB.

8. It seems like he’s getting more attached than just fwb.. I’d maybe just break it off with him for a bit and just hang see how he reacts..

9. I always told every FWB I had that I was or likely would be sleeping with someone else in the beginning. It’s good to be honest. But you also don’t owe a FWB your fidelity. So yes tell him.

   That being said if he is jealous as a FWB, I would think about if that’s still a good situation or if maybe he has other hopes.

10. If he’s jealous and pressuring you this much he caught feelings and is not sticking to being FWB. So either he steps up and commits or break it off. You don’t need to explain or owe him any explanation.

11. When I had the elusive friend-with-benefits – and I use the word ‘elusive’ because it is a far rarer situation than reddit would indicate – I would always get turned on to hear about her other conquests. I used to say to one in particular, “As long as I don’t lose my place on your roster, you can hook up with as many guys as you want.”

    I think what happened here is your FWB caught feelings like OP’s mentioned. He wouldn’t have that reaction if he only saw you as a friend-with-benefits. HE probably wants to ratchet things up to an exclusive relationship and this friend with whom you are going on a trip has served as the catalyst.

12. You should tell him if you have sex with him, or if you intend to. Simply because he’s having sex with you, std and whatever.

    But it sounds like he’s got feelings and he doesn’t want them hurt, and it sounds like you don’t feel the same but are being selfish so won’t tell him coz you’ll lose him.

    Both needs to stop. He’s no right to be this demanding if it’s just a fwb scenario, you’re not committed. And you’re a shitty person if you hide the fact that you’re sleeping with other people (assuming he gives enough of a damn to ask, that is, which he does).