I have started smiling at strangers recently, here are my results.

47 comments

1. This is great! Congratulations on your success.

2. [deleted]

3. Thanks for making the world a happier place, if at least temporarily…

4. Nice job!

   I don’t think girls around your age avoid eye contact because of what you look like. I’m a girl and sometimes it can feel a little awkward when I spot a guy around my age, no matter his appearance.

   So don’t knock yourself down regarding your appearance! I, too, feel the little bit of awkwardness/tension (to look good or impress?) when passing strangers in my own age group.

5. Whenever I catch someone even looking at me I give them a weird face and look away. I need to work on my skills thanks for the post.

6. I’ve noticed that I get a lot more tips at work when I smile more

7. [deleted]

8. It might sound stupid, but a small smile can brighten someone’s day.
   Nice experiment, keep doing it! 😀

9. I do this, too! I try to acknowledge as many folks as possible. Sometimes right before we make eye contact, I chicken out and start looking down. They probably think I’m a weirdo. Haha FFS, I’m a 29 year old woman.

10. Good for you! Do you notice that your over all feeling is happier as well? I am a female and anyone that makes eye contact elderly to little kids I smile and verbally greet if they are close enough. It is contagious and a good feeling when you see people with RBF “resting bitch face” smile back. Sometimes strong eye contact and smiling can come across as creepy or intimidating to some females. There is a fine line between friendly gesture and creepy. When approaching females in your age range wait until they are a little bit closer before direct eye contact. Smiling and being pleasant can chance someone’s day. I work with clients over the phone and in person also I am usually the first interaction they have with our company. It is true you can hear smiling in someone’s voice. Outside of work I always ask my grocery clerk how is their day is and hope they enjoy the rest of it.

    While you continue to note this, watch how many people are only engaged in their phones never interacting with the living breathing people around them, it is kind of surprising.

11. May I tell a quick story about how one day I was having a very horrible day? I don’t really recall what happened in particular but probably life wasn’t going my way and I had a touch of anger issues. For some reason which I’ve never really been sure of why until recently but people have always stared at me, they’ve done it my whole life.

    At some weird point in time my anger switch flipped on in my life and I would actually start responding to people who were staring at me, things like “wtf you looking at?” no fights or anything ever came from it, just illustrates the chip I walked around with at all times.

    One summer day I was getting gas and in full anger mode between the summer heat and the pump dealing with gas station parking lot shenanigans (people staring at you while you pump, multiple near collisions, etc..) I was about to snap and as I walked in to the gas station an older woman gave me a very genuine smile and just like that all of my problems melted away.

    It wasn’t any kind of sexually that I remember just an honest smile but it made all my anger go away for the next week or so. All the sayings about smiling made so much more sense after that day. That woman really made an impact on me that I obviously still think about to this day. Great idea OP, you really never know what kind of difference a smile will make for someone.

12. Good job stepping out of your comfort zone and experimenting with how people react to your behavior.

    I’ve also been surprised when an attractive girl suddenly smiles at me. I’m surprised because just as you’ve observed, women usually develop a habit of completely avoiding eye contact with others, especially men, while walking around outside. Even very good looking guys are usually ignored.

    So if a girl does smile at you, it it could mean she’s receptive to talking with you if it’s one of those obviously friendly smiles depending on body language and other cues of course. I know saying that though, some IDIOT is going to comment that it absolutely doesn’t mean she’s receptive to interacting as if her own shy, nervous smiles she uses to get through her day are equal to the clearly friendly smiles of a more socially intelligent girl.

    next time you should probably at least say hi or something.

    I’m really not sure what you mean by, “My success in speaking to girls my age (college) has also increased, because I smile as I talk to them. ” though. Do you mean you have better conversations and build better connections when you are constantly smiling during conversations with them? If that’s the case, then forcing too much smiling isn’t good either. I really don’t know how you do it since I didn’t see of course though. I think you should just relax in social situations and give yourself permission to smile when you feel like it so it’s more natural. Excessive smiling is a sign of seeking validation so it can come across as kind of needy.

13. > I suspect its because I am not too attractive.

    Plenty of women have been harassed in the street by men, so it could be they’re trying to avoid notice. Don’t sell yourself short, it likely has nothing to do with you.

    Really nice work otherwise, learning to smile and make eye contact with strangers is not easy!

14. As a female, I’ve encountered so many creeps that I feel incredibly uncomfortable when a guy smiles at me. I doubt it has anything to do with your looks.

15. I can’t smile on purpose. My smile sucks. I have to learn how to smile… Is it wrong to smile even if it’s not natural?

16. Congrats man. That’s awesome that you did that.

    Did you really keep count of each person you saw? That’s pretty impressive but also kind of horrifying.

    But anyway it’s probably not that you’re unattractive.

    Maybe you just seemed a little too intense when trying to make eye contact which is why girls your age didn’t really reciprocate? Just gotta be nonchalant about it. You got this

17. [deleted]

18. I find it being it a hit or miss because I have smiled to many a person and I get weird looks however that’s not to say I haven’t got positive reactions. I think it all depends on the person and their own outlook, they may not smile back but after you smiled at them they may have smiled back with out you knowing. Society can be such a downer that I can see why people wouldn’t react positively right off the bat, if that makes sense. Let’s all make an effort to show kindness, even if it isn’t returned right away or ever. Let’s set an example.

19. i’d love to try this when i go out this weekend <3

20. Girls don’t think you’re unattractive. They are shy too! Maybe they are even more shy because you are cute/hot to them! And the fact that you’re smiling might be making them more shy because – gasp – that cute boy is smiling at me! Quick look natural…

    You see where I’m going with this?

21. Tried this and all i got were blank stares and just ignores. Sucks to be ugly

22. I smile often when strangers pass by but there’s a weird moment where you have to “unlock” your eyes and I always screw that up. My timing is bad and I look away either too soon or late making things weird.

23. I guess I should start doing the same, through all my life Ive always been told i look kind of hostile or arrogant, but once they get to know me they say im actually pretty cool and nice. Still, i dont like being told that I look like that.

24. This is inspiring. Thanks for sharing. Will try it myself!

25. Congrats from a fellow introvert! I agree with you completely; I know from experience that a single smile from a stranger can brighten an entire day, so I make an effort to do so when I think about it. I particularly make an effort to do so with people who may not expect it from someone like me; for example, as I’m a white male in a part of the US famous as a hotbed of racism, I try my best to be especially courteous towards members of other ethnicities. It’s sometimes amazing to see the results.

    Anyway, your post has encouraged me to redouble my efforts. Thanks, and keep up the good work ☺️

26. You say, you think you are “not too attractive”. While most heterosexual men agree on what an attractive woman looks like, it’s my impression that heterosexual women have much more different opinions on what an attractive man is. So you are most likely not “not too attractive” to all women. Many may find you attractive and many may not, but know that it has more to do with their individual view on men in general than with you.

    Can a woman confirm this?

27. In my town if you pass someone or make eye contact with them you have to smile at them. Weird how cultures can be slightly different like that.

    Are you the guy who did an experiment of hugging random girls he met?

28. Can someone walk me through steps to doing this? Is it really as simple as just smiling and that’s it? How big of a smile and for how long? It feels like too big or holding it for too long is creepy and too little/not holding it for long enough is timid.

    I usually feel obligated to say something like “hi” or “how are you”, but that part is probably unnecessary. Do you nod while you smile or just smile? I’m pretty sure I sometimes do all of the above and come off as needy, but that might be me feeling more awkward than I actually appear to others.

29. I try to smile to strangers(not in a weird way), and for some reason they give me this strange glance, like wtf boyy.

30. I (m,20) just smiked at a ~ 45 years old woman who passed by. She smiled back a bit and greeded me. Try it out yourself people

31. I’m going to try this though I suspect my anxiety is going to make it really hard. I don’t look very nice so I’m wondering what reactions will I get. Elderly ladies/men will be the easiest, girls my age… I’m getting anxiety just thinking about it.

32. I’m going to try this today…. your an inspiration!

33. Smiles ,like yawns can be contagious. I don’t look into why there smiling or if there fake, or forced Just like to think happiness is out there for people. I smile everyday , laugh everyday, and I don’t have the best of everything life has to offer. But I make the best out of what I can control. Life doesn’t have to be so serious all the time , smile !!! Bet you live longer.

34. I started waiting tables 3 months ago in germany(just mentioning because indont know how the dining culture is in the usa) and started smiling when talking at guest. I don’t know why but i cannot supress it, so even when walking away from the table i cannot whipe that smile off my face. Now when i don’t smile my colleague askes me if something is up. Either i smile to much or am just ugly 🙁

35. I read that smiling at every one you pass makes you creepy. Any truth to that?

36. Keep it up! I would like to do the same but I’m totally antisocial. I’ve been told a bit that I’m hot. But I really don’t see it. Maybe if I had some confidence to boot. I recently got my braces removed and love to smile. But to whom?

37. This is a great exercise and I’m thrilled it has already had such a positive impact on your life. This is a great idea and if everyone did this, the world would be a better place for sure!!

    I just wanted to share another perspective on why 100% of people may not respond 100% positively (or at least the same way) that have nothing to do with your attractiveness. One thing is that someone you see on the street may have a vision impairment, so they may avoid all eye contact because it’s difficult for them to see it. Also, you could be passing someone on the street who is on the Autistic spectrum. You may be passing someone who is just plain ol’ awkward. You may be passing someone who has never had a stranger smile at them before and they didn’t know what to do.

    And, along with many other voices here, as woman I’d like to say that due to my (and many women’s) experiences — it is difficult to gauge whether the man approaching you from down the block who has been trying to lock eyes with you the whole time— is just trying to smile at you to brighten your day — or will say something terrible when they get close enough — or might follow you — or might take your return smile as an invitation ect ect ect. There are many examples like this on this thread. Unfortunately we live in a society where, as a woman, a friendly smile from an unknown man is literally a gamble as to how to respond or what will happen next.

38. Well done. I can only speak from my own exp but you need to understand that women generally have a zone around them to protect them from living in a male dominated society, so making eye contact or smiling at us in the street could be construed an invasion of privacy.

    Don’t ever take it personally.

    Girls your age are prob confused as to how to deal with the barage of constant male attention both welcome and unwelcome.

    It’s lovely you are smiling ☺.

39. Nicely done! I hope you keep it up, and keep sharing your story. It’s inspiring. I have resting angry face (so I’m told), but I am very rarely angry. I’m a smiler when I see another person, though, including strangers. If you smiled at me, I would smile back just to make us both happier.

40. Story time:

    I once lived in Russia for a few months. Decided to leave and en route back home, had a brief few-hour stop-over in Riga, Latvia. I didn’t have much money and was heading back home without a job. My dream to learn Russian and perhaps find a smoking hot love lay in ruins.

    When walking to get some rubles exchanged back to Euros, while dressed up in a shabby old jacket from the previous (now dead) occupant of the apartment I had rented, a young lady on the street smiled at me. Maybe it was facetious. Maybe she found me attractive. Maybe she was being nice.

    But in Russia, there are no smiles from strangers. For a moment, my entire world lifted. The prospects of finding a partner. The possibility of making friends. The possibility of everything simply *being ok.*

    Folks, **never** underestimate the power a smile from a stranger can have.

41. How wonderful. I notice the vast majority of people do not look up and smile at those they don’t know. I never thought, being the friendly person that I am, that I would end up doing the same. But I know that this is slowly happening to me.

    Having said this, I will say that when I do get a smile from a stranger and some eye contact, it definitely lifts my spirits. I’m going to make an effort to smile and really look at people. Thanks for sharing!

42. I love this! I’ve always smiled at people as I pass them by. It feels weird to just stare at someone with a blank expression, and it feels kinda weird when someone does it to me. Congrats on working toward the self improvement and positively impacting the lives of those around you 🙂

43. I have experimented with this as well since moving to a smaller town. Here, most people appreciate it or smile back. It is a great way to subconsciously boost your mood and hopefully others. When I am in the city and try this, most people look at me back in confusion or men think I am checking them out. It’s interesting how your surroundings ultimately change how you act and feel.

44. This sounds like great advice and is definitely an experiment that I will try out in university. I have a question though: if you’re far away do you just stare at them or do you look around for a bit first? It could be awkward to just stare in someone’s general direction for a long time.

45. Whenever I try to smile at someone they give me a weird face like I’m thinking perverted things about them

46. You’ve got courage, man!!

47. Question – what made you start this experiment? Because I had to do this too for one of my subjects at uni, and I had great results too!