Men without kids, how did you find your purpose in life.

34 comments

1. Bold of you to assume we have purposes in our lives.. only joking haha, extracurriculars work for me. Something that requires structure and dedication.

2. Personally I don’t believe that a life has a purpose. You can create one, sure, but why bother?

3. Try helping people. Any way that feels natural. See where that goes. Sometimes when we feel lost we’re actually just bored. And there’s an endless amount of help for others.

4. I don’t have a purpose. Or better: My purpose is to have the best life I can have. Learning, growth, compassion, kindness, new experiences. That’s the stuff I strive for.

5. Life’s purpose is to chase happiness. What makes you happy reveals the kind of person you are, but for sure the whole point is to live – *really* live – intensely, passionately, for as much as you can while you are alive.

6. Purpose is individually determined and the purpose I have chosen for myself is to be happy

7. I hate kids, so the life path of being a father is one I’ve never even considered.

   Over the years, I’ve had lots of exasperated people ask me “what’s even the point in living if you’re not going to have kids?!” That’s a strange way of thinking to me, but I’ve given it lots of thought so I can come up with a comprehensive answer when asked.

   My philosophy of life is part Epicureanism – by that I mean that my purpose in life is pursuing Epicurean hedonism, i.e. enjoying life for the sake of enjoying life. Being a father would get in the way of this pursuit, and to me the benefits are not even close to be worth the sacrifice.

   I’m also of the Existentialist bent – I believe that life has no inherent meaning except that which you ascribe to it. In my view, this is the psychological process by which people can find meaning in life through their families, careers, religions, hobbies etc. Again, looking back to my Epicurean views – the purpose in my life is enjoyment.

8. If people want to have kids, that’s their decision. I know I am not fit to raise a family because I have no patience and I am too busy being gainfully employed to have to worry about stuff at home or at kid’s school. Others may be able to handle this, but I can’t. When I was assigned to babysit my nephews, I hated it and couldn’t wait for it to end, which indicated to me that I don’t have the patience and selflessness required to be a parent. I know the world is a cold and cruel place with few exceptions sprinkled in there to give false hope that someday it will get better. I fear that if I have kids, they will suffer as much as I did or worse. In my opinion they are better off not being born. I am content with living in financial independence without obligations, free to enjoy my time and money as I please. That’s my purpose in life, to live it up for as long as I can without caring about the future, since there is nothing I can do about the future anyway.

9. I get to enjoy MY life. Why do I need purpose lol

10. Creating art, thanks to the necessity of escapism because of a problematic childhood. Creating a better world to live in.

11. It’s not a decision I made since it was never on the table for me. I understand that kids are the driving factor for a lot of people but I enjoy time with my wife and friends and family, music, beer, sports, sunshine … there’s so much to live for that even without kids I’ll never experience a fraction of it in my time. I just love being alive.

12. 42, no kids (cystic fibrosis). Married. I personally grew up with the idea, for my wife it was quite the adjustment. Past 10 years we had the babyboom at all the friends around us. Thats uh, though.

    We decided to accept it how it is, enjoy eachother, and do as much nice things as we can together. I’m on disability, she still works. The time she is gone I enjoy the small things. Go to the park here, sit at a bench. I don’t have a purpose. I enjoy life, even within the limits I have.

    Personally i think society needs to loose the idea everyone needs to have goal and a purpose. Or the standard requirements they put on everyone. I get a lot of shit when people find I don’t work and don’t have kids. Thats “egocentric” for some reason. Like i even choose this medical shitshow of a body.

13. I have a daughter but she’s not my sole purpose in life.

    I have lots of purposes: to be a good husband, to be a good friend, to look after my cats and to change my little corner of the world for the better, as well as being a father.

14. Right now my purpose is to be debt free and own a home. That goal will last me at least a decade.

15. Purposes:

    1. Science
    2. Snakes
    3. Combinations of the above

16. I went to Sea World and they were right there….oh shit…PURPOSE….. all kidding aside. Find something you enjoy, heck find a dozen things you enjoy and cycle through them. Embrace a quirk and own it- if you like to take photos of pigeons do it. You can find enlightenment and joy in anything.

17. Well mid 30’s and successful career? Fuck 20 y.o. hotties and travel.

18. I pity any person whose only purpose in life is raising a kid lmao.

    I’m trying to do my own shit, not spend 20+ years and hundreds of thousands of dollars on a kid.

19. Hobbies. 37 and no kids. But I get to go to as many car events and concerts as I want to. I do whatever the hell I want every day outside of work.

20. Found other stuff to do with my time. Don’t really care about a legacy or anything. Life is good. Purpose of my life is to have fun on my days off.

21. Using a tengentially related Rick and Morty quote:

    ‘Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody’s gonna die”.

    To that end, you do not need any specific purpose. You just need to do shit you enjoy and care about.

    For many people, their purpose in life is derived either from their family (wife and kids), or their faith / religion. However, there is no goddamn rule mandating that you need a purpose in life at all, or that your purpose needs to be something anyone other than you will care about.

    So if you have your shit generally together, just find out what the hell you actually give a shit about. I am pretty sure there is something that exists in this world that does not have a direct impact on your day to day survival. Maybe that thing makes you angry. Or happy. Whatever that thing is, throw as much or as little time and effort in that direction as pleases you. If that thing makes you angry, work towards changing it. If it makes you happy, work towards doing more of it.

    END COMMUNICATION

22. My purpose is to ensure I don’t end up starving in a ditch some where when I get older.

23. I can’t imagine having kids I know I’d love them to death and focus entirely on them. That’s why I don’t want them. My focus is finding something I truly enjoy doing and revolve my life around that. That’s why I started smoking crack cocaine and I’ve never looked back.

24. I work out everyday, my goal in life is to retire early to do more sports. Also my friends take a huge part of my life. They are all divorced with two kids soi get to see them regularly. Making my SO happy also gives me great purpose.

25. For me, I don’t see my life as having some sort of purpose, and that thought doesn’t give me any distress.

26. Get a dog! All the benefits of kids with far less of the cons!

27. Found a career that I love, hobbies I love and I make plans to do the things I want and see the things I want to see. Always looking forward to what’s next, kids not included.

28. I have my own kids, but I see a lot of older men in my community who either don’t have kids or rarely see their families. The happy ones find purpose in volunteering with civic organizations. I see them working with groups like Elks, Salvation Army, Rotary, or the Exchange Club. I’ve also seen others find a lot of joy in coaching youth sports.

    If you have state or national parks nearby, they always need volunteers.

29. I’m 47. I missed the boat on happily ever after with some poor decision making in my 20s. I have dated sporadically since, and never really gave much thought to having children until it was too late (age). I’m fine with that now, though I do wonder how my later years will play out. I still have some hope that I’ll find someone to grow old with, though my introversion makes that extremely difficult. I can’t say that I have found a purpose, but they do say life is about the journey, not the destination, so I live each day as it comes.

30. Well, I’m childfree. I don’t want children. And no, I won’t change my mind.

    The purpose in life? I don’t think there is a meaning of life. You have to give meaning to it yourself, and find things that you value.

    For me, the purpose of life is trying to do what’s best for others. If I made a positive difference for other people, my life has meaning.

31. I realized we don’t have any purpose at all in this universe. It’s like in the matrix there is no spoon. kids do nothing but exponentially add to climate change and pollution. You have no real purpose except what you make.

32. I got a cat and when she passes away I’ll get two cats then three then four you see what’s going on here……

33. It’s called ” Self”. I don’t believe that my sole purpose in life is just to be a breeder for future generations. The planet is far too overcrowded as it is. Have all the kids you want, just as long as you can properly provide for them. As for me, I have other plans .

34. You’re the envy of 9/10 guys your age that are married with kids. Stop stressing about this on Reddit and continue living your best life.