Rant- When you listen to all their problems/opinions but the minute you start talking, they ignore you.

I started my new job about a month ago and tbh ever since I quit my ssri, I’ve been having trouble communicating with people. My coworker who started the same day i did, lets call her Blair, has a very chill and non-chalant personality. She is also easy going from what ive seen. She will rant to me about her personal problems e.g husband, MIL, feeling stuck in life, divorce…etc. I actively listen to her and never act like I’m ignoring her, in fact I share my 2 cents or give her feedback without making it seen gossipy since it is a corporate place. I keep things neutral but try to sympathize with her. However, sometimes when she is done sharing her little story/rant, she will turn back to her computer monitor and ignore what I have to say. And then I just end up looking like an idiot. This happened 2-3 times.

This other coworker, lets call her Maddy. She started off great the first week and was extremly friendly. She was supposed to be put in our team but they didn’t have her login setup so she was place another project for temporary. I have a different schedule so usually arrove 30 mins later. Maddy would be extra friendly and would greet ne good morning everyday and I would greet her back. I thought she was very polite at first, but one thing I notice was she would say alot and but the minute I say something to her, she didn’t really care to know. One day, she was showing me a craft project she was making for her friend, I told it was really cute because it was handmade. And me always being an active listener, asked her if they have her setup ready and she said no and started to rant. I was still listening and I was agreeing to what she had to say, she walked away mid conversation. And there I was again, looking like an idiot. After this situation, she would give me a cold shoulder for no fucking reason. I couldn’t understand why and I still don’t have an answer. This week, she completely ignored me and would ignore my good morning until today she started talking and pretended like nothing ever happened. Today after the meeting, she decided to share her input with me and I decided to share mine with her, except when I did, she was too busy to listen. So I stood there thinking maybe she was listening so kept going until I realize she didn’t give a fuck. I just went back to my desk but it stung a little.

As a middle child, I was often ignored and overlooked by everyone. People were more interested in my siblings. I guess I wasn’t as charasmatic, pretty, or funny as they were. My siblings would always get compliments from family members and relatives. When people would ask how we were doing, they would often forget my name, and sometimes they will forget there was me or get my age wrong. Friends and classmates were more interested in my siblings than me.
Although things have gotten better, it still carries with me to this day. And that’s the fear of being ignored and feeling like you are invisible. To many people, this is not a big issue and it really shouldn’t be. This is all I’ve been thinking about all day and my weekend consists of why Im treated like this. I’ve also learned that my siblings are able to brush these things off like its not biggie buy I ofren wonder why I’m so oversensitive and it might be due to my childhood. I’m a good listener and care about people’s feelings, however I don’t get that in return and sometimes it hurts. I thought maybe Im just boring and that’s why people aren’t listening and lose interest. But they can talk about their husband problems, kids, dogs, birthday plans, food poisoning, favorite colors. ..etc all day and I still listen, yet no one wants to listen.

Sorry this was a really long post. I just have a really shitty life. Im just done being a fucking listener when no motherfucker cares to listen to my opinion and when they do it’s half assed pretending to listen when really fucking aren’t. Im done being nice and polite and more than I’m fucking done being treated like a therapist. And it fucking hurts because I was ignored or overlooked as a child times more than I could count, I don’t want anyone to feel that way, yet people ignore me. You’re just a side character whose opinions don’t matter as much as others..