Assuming the woman works in a good job. And why does the man have to pay really high for her expenses can’t she fund her self?

38 comments

  1. Because women believe they are entitled to a man’s money even in 2022

    The only way to win the game is by not playing it

    Don’t get married

  2. Untrained judges.

    Most judges now are learning to no longer apply traditional justice to new family law.

    However, in cases you probably see often involves the woman lying under oath to gain an advantage.

    Depending on the man, can later sue I think if they know she lied.

  3. Because the person being divorced would have had a reasonable assumption that their lifestyle would have been preserved if not for being abandoned by their spouse. The courts make an attempt to preserve their quality of life for a period of time so they can make accommodations to provide for themselves.

    If you are the earner of the couple, you have an inherent responsibility to provide for your partner and so the courts make sure you cannot simply abandon and cut off your wife and you continue upholding that responsibility for as long as they deem fit.

  4. Because the laws haven’t been updated, when they were put in place men were the breadwinners

  5. Gay couples pay alimony too. And remember Brittany Spears is still paying Kevin Federline alimony, to the tune of $25k a month, in addition to kids fees, support, clothing, etc., budget that she also pays. The payments to him are simply to “maintain his lifestyle”.

    So it’s simply that the more financially able partner pays to support the life of their former spouse. Doesn’t matter if they are another gay man, a Kevin Federline, or anyone else.

  6. I know a woman paying her ex alimony. Depending on state nowadays they usually look at difference in incomes unless there are children and custody involved

  7. 90% of divorced men don’t pay alimony.

    It’s less common than most people think.

  8. Its not the man necessarely.
    Its the person that earns the most. Or the person that was followed stuff like that i believe.

  9. Alimony isn’t nearly as common as people think and a significant majority of divorced men don’t pay it.

    The concept is rooted in the idea of stay at home wives needing something to subsist on while they get their feet under them since they, presumably, gave up any career to take up their role in the good faith belief the husband would be providing and are now out on their ass and years behind.

    Obviously, given those roots, it is not applied nearly as often in the modern two income paradigm and has been dropping steadily for years as new training and judges move in and expectations shift.

  11. Female here…. I pay alimony and have for 7 years now.

    My ex lied to the judge saying he just couldn’t find a job that paid what he wanted (he felt he deserved $40,000 a year with no degree) and it wasn’t fair he would have to pay for his own apartment. I was ordered to pay him alimony and I had full custody of both our kids. He told the judge since he only saw the kids ever other weekend he shouldn’t have to pay for them. The judge agreed unless it was a medical/dental situation then it was split.

    This marriage was very toxic. He was a narcissistic person and even told my daughter that I need to be careful since he had the guns ready. He told me that he wished he was more physical with me and I would have learned. The judge said we aren’t together now so I need to put it aside and move forward. My ex called my job to get my schedule and has been seen outside my home watching it. The court still pushes that aside and slaps me in the face with alimony.

    Me….I still pay alimony. A lot of alimony.. Work overtime to afford the alimony and to take care of the kids. I pay 100% of kids expenses I Can’t get a restraining since he hasn’t hurt me bad enough.

    He…. goes on vacations. Is living with a new lady and they are engaged. Has Bought a house with her.

    Courts do rule for men to pay and it shouldnt always be, but in my case they just ruled unfairly

  12. These are the kind of questions you won’t find satisfying answers to when asked in public.

  15. Its a old idea. Back when men worked and women were screwed if they left. Today most women work and dont need alimony.

  16. Because “divorce is the process of removing a man’s testicles through his wallet”. RIP Robin Williams.

  17. They don’t. It’s determined based on how much money you earn.

  19. If both partners work in good jobs then getting alimony is nearly impossible, it’s mostly meant to balance out a pay disparities in cases where one partner is going from a very dependent life to new independence. Whichever partner earns more money is at risk of having to pay alimony during a divorce.

  20. I worked with a guy here in Australia that got divorced. His ex went to the Child support system here and he got a demand for whatever it was per week… can’t remember, but it was huge as he was in a high paying job.
    He called her up, told her to get fucked and said we either sort it out between us, or I’ll quit my job, earn less than you and then you’ll have to pay me for when I have the 3 kids.

    It worked. They worked it out between themselves without the agency stepping in and it cost him a ton less, and it was all fair.

  21. The idea is that having a spouse dealing with the house, chores, children and all the domestic issues around those is a massive boost to the career of the working spouse – as in, it’s a lot more doable to pull 60-100 hours in your job when someone else takes care of your stuff at home.

    So, the stay-at-home spouse’s work is critically important for the working spouse’s career, and thus, income. As long as they remain married, the spouse at home participates in the income they (okay, mostly she) helped generate. Once they get a divorce, though, that stops, possibly leaving the spouse formerly at home without income. So that’s where alimony comes in.

    Traditionally, the working spouse was the man and the wife stayed at home. It’s beginning to change, now that women make up the majority of college graduates, so women start paying alimony more and more.

  22. It’s more like why the alimony itself has to exist if men and women should be paid equally. If either of gender can’t earn money than the other, I’d think it’s necessary but now in 2022 they should be paid fair. It’s one of the double standards of gender equality.

  23. In my experience, it’s used more so by women (and their attorneys) as a form of leverage. During my divorce, my ex made constant threats to request alimony. Unfortunately for her, our state actually has a decent standard that has to be met before it’s even considered and it was squashed before it even got off the ground.

  24. Because women are independent queens who don’t need no man and will fight the patriarchy!

  25. It used to make sense when women didn’t work and were destitute if their husband left them. Today it’s a wildly imbalanced Justice system favouring women in divorce and custody issues.

    Strangely, for all the chants and slogans about women being powerful and independent there doesn’t seem to be much of a push from the ladies to end these imbalances.

  26. Florida is about to nix it. As long as Governor doesn’t veto. There will be a very short step up plan at max.

  27. **Alimony is entirely situational** and it’s not black and white. Not every man has to pay alimony and it depends on income, debt and standards of living of the other partner after the divorce. There seem to be a lot of variables involved. As stated before by other members, the man usually doesn’t have to pay. I think you only have to worry about alimony if you make significantly more money than the woman (like if you are a professional and the only job she can get after the divorce is a Walmart cashier).

    [https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/alimony-what-you-need-know-30081.html](https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/alimony-what-you-need-know-30081.html)

  29. Only if your partner had offput their education or professional career for a long period of time to care for the family

  30. Alimony and child support are two different categories of payment.

    Alimony supports the ex that has less income.

    Child support is paid the ex that is housing, feeding the children.

  32. Because most all women will take advantage of the situation and lie about ever wanting to be an adult

  34. I didn’t get any after 24 years of marriage and 2 kids. I was a Stay at home mom for the vast majority of the time. I only worked PT on the weekends after the kids were older. Never making a living wage. He fought me in court for about 3years. Emotionally I couldn’t fight anymore and my legal bills came to over 50k. I gave up just like he wanted. But I will NEVER have second thoughts about divorcing him.

  35. In Canada, we don’t have alimony. It’s called spousal support and in most cases it is only for a finite time limit, like 3-5 years. But, I know one guy that has to spousal support for life to his alcoholic wife. Another party, paying to fuel the harmful addiction of another person is just plain wrong.

  36. Many will say feminism and while that’s partially correct, it’s only partially. Feminism helped codify it to statutory law in many states along with palimony because Common Law alimony required evidence of the man lacking in marital duties to his wife over a period of time and/or the woman had been a homemaker for the duration of the marriage for it to be allowed.

    Feminists being pathological allergic to evidence mattering and the Democrats needing lifetime voters made a deal, much like the recent LGBTLMNOP deal under Obama.

    But like most everything these people do even while deriding the faith they stole the concept from, alimony is an Ecclesiastical Court concept. This explains their smug self assured moral righteousness like a religious zealot while being clueless. “Check out our progress that is actually nearly as old as Christianity” lol

    The concept then became rooted in English Common Law upon which the American legal system is rooted. Even today SCOTUS regularly in their opinions look to the history of a legal term of art from prior to founding within the English Common Law.

    It emerged because divorce was illegal but when a man was so devoid of Christian duty to their wife legal separation would be granted and the man was morally obligated by the Ecclesiastical Court to continue to provide “nourishment” today called living expenses, to his wife on punishment of Excommunication for failure to do so.

    Because contrary to Feminist belief, marriage in Christianity is explicitly not a dictatorship. Tyrannical men use it like they use any belief system they can but the Bible is explicitly clear. The husband as head of the family only has authority as far as his duties to love his wife as he loves God are fulfilled. The wife is not obligated to stay and be abused. Back then it was viewed sacrilegious to break a vow or have ancillary involvement in breaking of a vow before God so separation and alimony were created. This alimony concept later seeped into the Common Law proper finding its way here.

    It serves 0 purpose anymore other than social control of the population or if a wife was homemaker the entire marriage.

    There’s an old saying there’s nothing more permanent than a temporary government program that applies here somewhat. The legal concept is a holdover from a society that only exists in small subsets of the population yet is used en masse.

  37. It’s an outdated remnant from when women couldn’t work to make sure they weren’t purposely made homeless by her husband leaving her. Alimony shouldn’t exist today.

  38. My boyfriend is a lawyer. He pays his ex 40% of his gross income. They were married for 20 years. She was an accountant but quit working after their second child and never worked again. At the time of their divorce she got all the assets and he got all the debt. Their children are adults. She lives off this alimony in her paid off house. His income was reduced by 30% during COVID but since it was only a “temporary” reduction of one year, her alimony did not decrease. She frequently posts on Facebook about her European vacations, tennis playing, lunches etc. She divorced him to live her best life. He will be working until he is 70. It’s crazy and unfair that there is zero legal expectation for her to work.

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