I think I must be doing something wrong as I never get beyond the ’you’re great but there was no spark’ och ’you’re great but I didn’t feel anything romantic’. It’s tiring now that I’ve had one too many of those. This usually comes up after 2-3 dates when I already know we have decent chemistry.
I don’t think I’m awful at dating. I’m aware of the flow of the conversation and I take interest and ask questions as well as talk about myselft too. I try to be playful and joke, and I try to flirt a liittle bit or include some touching if I can, though I’m not the best at flirting etc. And I’m ok with my looks. And I don’t struggle with online dating. I just wish I knew what was wrong.
I’m afraid there might be something in my dating pattern that doesn’t work too well, something I’m unaware of. I just can’t seem to attract women beyond friendship. Nothing romantic or even sexual, which is sad. I really lack those in my life. I’m just nice. Or great.
What makes a woman consider someone beyond friendship? I feel clueless and I’m afraid I might be missing out on opportunities.
And of course I can recognize that sometimes the match just isn’t ideal, I have that in mind 🙂
3 comments
Are you making any moves?
You just have to remember it’s not about you. They’re making a choice knowing themselves better than you do after a date/couple of dates.
I had an objectively fantastic date with someone who I really did like as a person. As soon as he kissed me, I knew I felt nothing romantic at all. Not just because it didn’t do anything for me but because in that moment I realised there was still only one person I wanted to kiss. I’d enjoyed his company because he was interesting but my rejection of him was about choosing myself.
For me, the only thing I can hear here is the touching. I’m demisexual (so not all women are like this), & I don’t want to be touched in any way until I feel like I know you & am starting to develop feelings.
What sort of women do you typically go out with? If you’re pulling intellectual women who like deep conversation, then being playful & “fun” won’t appeal to them. If they’re the casual, surface type, then it may appeal more to them, but it also means they’re much less likely to be consistent or looking for something more long-term.