I never post but I feel like I just need some real advice right now. I am 21 and my wife is almost 24. We got married when I was 19! We were hs sweethearts and when I joined the army out of high school I was very upset to leave my family and especially my girlfriend at the time. We had only been dating a year before hand. After my basic training followed by me immediately deploying with my unit halfway through an ongoing deployment we got married immediately after I got back to the states. I think I was simply lonely at the time and craving the intimate connection we had before the army. We never broke up and agreed to stay together when I left but the only way we could live together around base is if we were married. I soon found myself rushing into a marriage with a person I had never lived with, was only with for less than 2 years and at way to young of an age. The honeymoon phase was great but almost 2 years into married life I’m starting to realize how incompatible we are. I’m very blunt and practical while she is extremely sensitive. Being infantry, I’ve been through a lot and find it hard to have sympathy for a lot of her problems by comparison but still I make an effort. I try to stay very goal oriented while she can’t hold down a job and smokes weed at home most days. I’ve realized we have next to nothing in common and every day I’m less attracted to her. She hasn’t to my knowledge done anything explicitly wrong like cheating (although I’ve had my suspicions like most soldiers do) but I find my self wanting a divorce. I’ve wanted one for almost a year now and I’m worried that it would devastate her if I brought it up. She adores me and doesn’t know how I feel at so it would be very shocking for her. Besides the army usually screws you with divorce. I’m getting out soon and have a good job lined up and I’m wondering if I should give her a chance before doing anything or if I’m wasting both of our times living a lie. Hiding these feelings from her is starting to really affect me mentally but I can’t tell if I’m just an asshole and simply nitpicking. Looking for advice.
TL;DR:
Got married way to young and don’t love her anymore while she still loves me. We are extremely incompatible. Should I divorce her, give it time or am I just plain wrong?
1 comment
Dude Dash you’ve got to be honest with her and tell you how you feel. Unless she knows how you feel there’s zero chance she’s going to change on her own and that’s very unfair to her. It may wind up with you getting a divorce but at least you’re being honest and truthful.