So I’m a little confused about this. We are both well into our late 30s & working couple so most of week we are either at work or too tired for any sex activity (at least me). May be even selfishly I expect my partner to dress up temptingly or at least sassily over the weekends but she believes in comfort clothing mostly. I have dropped lot of hints in the past by getting her lingerie vouchers and even buying it for her. But after a few futile attempts she goes back to her normal mode. She believes she should be appealing to me even draped in her usual clothes? Is there something wrong with me? I’m happy to change my perspective. Just looking for fair advice her…
19 comments
I’m too lazy for lingerie. Gimme dat dick, I don’t want a million scraps of lace in the way. Also, if my man doesn’t want to fuck me in my FUGLY puppy pajama pants, then I don’t want to either.
How do you dress up for her? What are your own efforts in being sexually pleasing to her eyes? I absolutely love dressing up, but I wouldn’t want it to be a one way street, even though I’m generally submissive.
I think it’s too much to expect that on a regular basis, but now and then is reasonable. But don’t drop hints, come right out and explain what you would like and discuss it like adults.
Bro…. Lingerie is great and all, don’t get me wrong. I wear it for my wife but that shit is uncomfortable. It’s pretty much on, she’s happy and slowly takes it off.
I ain’t wearing that shit all day and certainly not every time we have sex.
What do you do to deserve lingerie? I’m at least a lesbian. She will wear it for me too.
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Honestly the best sex is when he just pulls my shorts or PJs off and has his way with me. As his wife, I don’t necessarily need to be showered, hair perfect, makeup, contacts, “camera ready” for sex. Some of the best is before dawn where I’m at my most natural human self… and he adores me just the same.
Maybe she’s exhausted and in need of loving encouragement? I notice I stop putting effort in when my mind is bogged down. Also, you said you take care of yourself, but do you take care of her/your relationship? Do you have good communication, do you share household duties and make decisions together? If I feel connected in non-sexual ways, I feel loved and desired and respected which inspires me to put more effort in sexually. It’s a positive feedback loop
Maybe I’m reading to much into it, but we are complicated creatures.
So what you’re saying is your gf should not wear comfortable clothing because it’s unsexy for you? Wtf
What do you do for her?
I honestly don’t care about the wrapping as long as the gift itself is bomb!
So yeah, lingerie doesn’t do anything for me, i am too busy lusting after my wife’s actual body. But people are different, and i am not sure it’s possible to change your perspective based on input from other people. You will have to have a good talk with your wife about what turns you on and what turns you off and see if you can find a way to navigate that together.
As a woman, lingerie is for special moments not everyday wear. It’s hard being sexy 24/7.
[m] You got your answer. The lingerie aren’t getting her excited or making her feel sexy. When she is feeling it some time, she’ll wear them. Counterproductive to push it. You need to start focusing on her hot, sexy body. Tell her how hot and sexy she is. The lingerie is just superficial. You are not having sex with lingerie. Focus on how good it feels to feel and play with her breasts, and to lick and suck them. Learn to love her entire natural body. Everything about it.
Personally, I hate lingerie and it would be a huge turn off if my partner wanted me to wear it. So, I would, in effect, be arousing my partner while turning myself off and getting frustrated. I don’t think that would lead to very good sex.
Compromise would probably be best, if your partner doesn’t like lingerie. Get her some more flattering comfortable clothes. Maybe something cotton but form fitting or a cotton nightgown. Still probably best to let her pick them out herself. You two could go shopping together so you can give input.
Also, ask yourself what you are doing to arouse her. If all she wants to wear is clothing that you don’t find attractive, there is possibly a reason for that.
Find out what gets her in the mood and try harder to arouse her. She might even come around to the idea of lingerie, if you focus on her needs a bit.
I’m perplexed. Usually I want my partner to undress for sex.
I find some of the “comfy clothes” sexy as hell. Booty shorts where the ass peaks out at the bottom, low waisted pjs with the mid rift showing, a simple tank top w/ no bra. I go crazy for my girlfriend when she’s “comfy”
i LOVE lingerie!! makes me feel hotter and definitely look forward to wearing it when i have sex, sometimes i love when it just gets ripped off from me , i actually own TOO much lingerie lol but seems like your partner has gotten a little TOO comfortable?
Your demand is perfectly reasonable if you do the same amount of work for her as well. As you said, both of you work and are tired by the end of the day, hence I don’t think you should expect her to do it effortlessly without you saying. And stop with the hints dropping, it’s annoying. Just communicate what you want. Communication goes a long way.
Personally, I would be really bummed out if my partner expected me to dress a certain way at home so I would be more sexually appealing to him. We both always dress in comfortable clothes around the house. Comfort = happiness. Happiness = good sex. It’s too bad you guys don’t see eye to eye on this though.
she doesn’t owe you regularly dressing up for sex.
if that’s not her thing don’t force it on her. sometimes things require a mutual agreement and she’s clearly not interested. 🤷🏾♀️ if you’re still getting laid, i don’t see the problem lol